How I Embrace Being a Bad Mom
5 Ways You Can Be a Bad Mom too!
There’s a reason the movie Bad Moms made almost $115 million.
There’s a reason when I saw it, the theatre was PACKED on a Tuesday night and there was a buzz in the air (who knew I was supposed to pre-party!).
There’s a reason the women left the movie smiling and howling.
And there’s a reason I’m embracing being the baddest mom ever!
Perfect doesn’t exist.
So as moms can we stop right now and let that go?
The right grades. (Gifted & Talented, Shmifted & Talented!)
The right friends. (god forbid our kids at the age of 6 get in with the “wrong crowd”)
The right sports (don’t even get me started on this one!).
Can we just live already, have fun and let our kids do the same?!
Ok, I’m not talking get arrested Bad Mom.
I’m talking letting go of the social pressures and being a fun, authentic, present mom instead of a perfection strategizing status vamp like Gwendolyn.
What does this look like? Here’ s my 5 steps toward being a Bad Mom.
1.) Listen to Yourself
C’mon, you know your kids best. Remember that time you were on your girls weekend, noticed your son’s voice was hoarse Saturday night on the phone and knew he probably had strep? And instead of freaking out from 3000 miles away you told your husband exactly what to do until you could get him to the doctor Monday? Ya. THAT. Listen to THAT more often. And I bet when you were away you secretly told yourself to relax, knew he’d be fine and continued to have fun (But you might not really admit that to anyone. It’s ok. We know and it’s ok.)
Remember the “runaway bag” you had packed in your 20’s and had it at work or in your car in case some fabulosity came your way that day and a quick change was needed? Well, as an adult that translates into looking ahead, planning a getaway with your girls, writing out the 5 page document on how to keep the kids alive while you’re gone and then running away and living it up! Sleep late, shower at 6pm before a fun dinner out, eat whatever feeds you (good or bad!). I recommend running away at least once a year and in-between having some girls nights out to carry you over.
3.) Ask for Help
It does take a village. Seriously. We can’t do this alone and if you try to, well, you may end up in the corner rocking back and forth in a little white jacket. Look around you. Who can you enlist into your mom staff? Trade off with a friend. Learn which moms have your same values and form a team. That 11 year old down the street is a great mothers helper. Snag her early and she’s yours when she’s 15. And your ticket to running away a little bit.
4.) Let them eat cake
Ok, so this one is a tough one for me, but I do it. I know the evil effects of sugar (#FedUp) so this one pains me, but for the sake of fun and letting go once in a while… I let my kids eat sugar occasionally, and on their birthday in mass quantities. Yes. I’m a SUPER bad mom. In between I sneak avocado into their fruit shakes.
5.) Let your freak flag fly
Show your kids the wild and crazy side of you! Once again, let’s keep it legal. Do you love to dance when no one is looking? Dance that way in front of them. Like to make totem poles out of old materials? Do it. Get jazzed up at the thought of a piano duel? Boom! Share this “different” side of yourself. It will show your kids it’s ok to be YOU, to own it and feel proud of it.
And here’s my bonus step…
Fall and Fail
Set yourself free from the perfect mom-cage! Try something new and tell your kids how you fell short and what you learned. Burned a new recipe? Laugh about it. Tried a new workout you hated? Embrace it. Called on a new business prospect and got shot down? Be excited to try again. Ask them what they tried and failed at in school today, and what they’d like to do next time. Life is a journey about gaining wisdom from our actions — positive and negative. Sharing your foibles from a self-awareness perspective, and not in a self-shaming way, communicates it’s ok to try something and not do it perfectly.
Because by being a Bad Mom and showing your kids how to be YOU, may just translate into them taking a leap that one day will take them in a new amazing direction they never imagined.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some Bad Mom-mery to get to.
Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.com on November 15, 2016.