When my twenty-three year marriage came to an end, I hadn’t planned on living my remaining days alone. In the search to rebuild my life I had to find my way, anyway, which in the past eventually led to the way of the bottle, the way of fortune, with nothing left but the way of the heart…another man. Certain of a quick fix or so I thought, I was off to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Could this be the better way? It was time to get with the program.
Faithfully attending meetings and when I would least expect it; I would actually absorb what was being said. For the first time I heard the 11’Th Step, “sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God.”
Knowing nothing of meditation I began to unravel its secrets and found my connection to God.
This definitely was the better way.
Fascinated with what I read on the subject, I was sold and couldn’t get enough. And so every day I’d practice lying in silence in my darkened room. Finally after months of trying, I was able to “break through,” or it broke through to me. Crossing over into God’s domain I stumbled upon its doorstep and lost myself in its heavenly stillness. Shifting into this higher vibration the Universe joined with me as the eyes of Heaven looked on. This experience left me with a desire so strong I would wait, spellbound, wanting to recreate this altered state over and over again. This became the impetus for my life and I knew that someday I would go to this place and never come back.
A.A. called it conscious contact, I call it bliss…I was in the zone.
From this issued a certain purpose for my life, knowing that somehow it would be used for good. Given the opportunity to share with others my experience, strength and hope would serve to lessen another’s burden. Showing them that, yes, there was a better way.
As in all things I began to transform my world and a new life evolved from this gift of meditation. I was creating my own destiny.
I would like to say that my troubles were over then, but not so. Going into a full blown “what’s in this for me?” syndrome, full of my own power I began to experiment and as the books promised, I began to create what I thought was my heart’s desire. Lost in want, I risked my soul in an insatiable hunger for prestige and fortune. Embracing what I thought to be godly wisdom, I began orchestrating outcomes to serve my own good when all the while planting demands into the Universal Mind. Blindly chasing this self-professed fantasy, I was caught between what was real and what I’d foolishly made up. What first appeared as magic was taking me down with it.