BOOKS | WRITING FEEDBACK
Worst Advice Ever, or Literary Hoax?
Did Herman Melville’s publishers really tell him to lose the whale in Moby Dick?
On days when I want to feel better about my writing, I like to read rejection letters received by famous authors.
That’s how I ran across part of a letter from Peter J. Bentley, of Bentley & Son Publishing House, to Herman Melville. It read:
“First, we must ask, does it have to be a whale?
While this is a rather delightful, if somewhat esoteric, plot device, we recommend an antagonist with a more popular visage among the younger readers. For instance, could not the Captain be struggling with a depravity towards young, perhaps voluptuous, maidens?”
After I stopped laughing, a thought occurred to me. Was this the worst piece of literary advice ever? Also, what was in the rest of the letter?
I decided to do a little digging.
I started by looking up Peter J. Bentley, only to discover that he doesn’t exist. Instead, I found this tweet from writer Neil Gaiman:
The letter’s a hoax, and a brilliant one.
The Full Rejection Letter to Herman Melville
Following the link provided in Neil’s tweet, I found the entire letter at Thought Catalog:
My Dear Sir,
We have read with great interest your intriguing effort of Moby Dick, or The Whale, and while it fortified us greatly, despite the somewhat vision-impairing length of the manuscript, we were wondering if changing certain of the story’s elements might not buoy its purchases at the shop, as it were?
First, we must ask, does it have to be a whale?While this is a rather delightful, if somewhat esoteric, plot device, we recommend an antagonist with a more popular visage among the younger readers. For instance, could not the Captain be struggling with a depravity towards young, perhaps voluptuous, maidens? We are sure that your most genial friend and fine author, Nathaniel Hawthorne, would be instructive in this matter? Mr. Hawthorne has much experience introducing a delicate bosom heaving with burning secrets into popular literature.
I’m afraid that while we can appreciate the heartiness with which Captain Ahab pursues his passion for fishing, we would find it estimably helpful on your behalf to leave out his personal belief system. Let us not identify one faith over another, in such sense, that were it to prove an offense to our readers, this would most certainly thin shillings from our purse. If this development affects your character’s motivation disagreeably, then would it not suffice to make him a Lutheran? Everyone knows that Lutherans always have a “bee in their bonnet” anyway and there are not quite so many of them in London.
Bentley & Son appeals to your more libertine nature and requests that (for heaven’s sake, we are trying to sell books here) you discard the employment of ‘thou” and “thee” as it will put the reader too much in mind of the Vicar’s sermon on Sunday, and thus, ruin a good Saturday night read as being just “too much of a good thing.”
All in all we were quite delighted with your previous efforts, Typee and Omoo. They were just the thing, what with the cannibalism and native non-state of dress and all. We remain hopeful for more of the same.
Yours in commercial endeavors,
Peter J. Bentley
Editor
Bentley & Son Publishing House
New Burlington St.
London, England
How to Craft a Convincing Parody
While the actual author of the letter remains unknown, this hilarious parody can be found in numerous collections, alongside real rejection letters.
How did they pull it off?
It’s simple: They included just enough real information to make the letter believable.
- Bentley & Son Publishing House did indeed publish “Moby Dick” in the UK in 1851.
As Neil points out, though, Bentley & Son was run by Richard Bentley and his son, George Bentley. There was never a Peter Bentley at the firm.
The creation of “Peter Bentley” was likely a sly nod to Peter Benchley, the author of the novel “Jaws.”
2. The movie and publishing industries have a rich history of bad decisions and questionable feedback, so the letter doesn’t seem that far-fetched.
Exhibit A: A studio executive at Fox Searchlight actually said, “Do we have to have so much math?” regarding Hidden Figures, a movie about legendary mathematician Katherine Johnson.
What Have We Learned?
Hopefully we’ve learned that movies about mathematicians require actual math, a lie is much more convincing when salted with the truth, and “Moby Dick” wouldn’t be the same if it featured a randy sea captain lusting after buxom wenches.
What’s the worst piece of writing advice you’ve ever received? Share it in the comments, and if anyone discovers who wrote this amazing letter, please tell me!
