Fear v/s Flow

Yesterday, I was doing one of my 5–10 minute scrolls of the FB feed. It helps me get in some connective time with friends, pages, and so forth but keeps me from getting lost and never coming up to live my life.

Well, during this scroll I was noticing a lot of posts related to getting through fear, facing fear, conquering fear, and such notions as we find most every day if we are into coaching, positivity, self-help, self-care, and the like. In the midst of it though a number of things from a reading I had given earlier in the day started popping into my head.

I stopped, paused, and thought…

What if the answer isn’t always to go/move/deal/etc with fear?

Yikes, does that mean we are to let fear swallow us up? No, not at all. I do believe that the majority of the time the question is how do we face, how do we change the meaning, how do we conquer fear.

But there is another thing to be mindful of… what if we are missing out on the route that doesn’t have fear, or has very little of it?

Wait, all this fear is going on and you are saying to take some easy route? Isn’t it the struggle, the dark night, the feeling of pain, the messy effort that we are supposed to experience and go through in life? Isn’t that the path we are supposed to be on?

Hmmm, not really. At least I don’t think it has to be. Numerology has helped me realize that in more ways than I would have ever guessed and I am still at the beginning of this journey. But, before I share that I want to address this fear thing that it almost seems like we are supposed to focus on.

First lets look at the world around us. We know the news likes fear because it seems to bring excitement even in the midst of fear. We know that fear changes the chemicals and elicits the fight or flight switch in our bodies. We know that fear is talked about quite often in most all circles of life. Fear is associated with how or what we think about, how we behave, what we believe, all the aspects of life (food, health, love, knowledge, vocation, etc.), and everything around us (environment, education, the past, the future, etc.) It is through all of this that we come to dislike fear… but I also think we are addicted to it and even crave it.

You heard me right, Crave Feat. We can use fear as an excuse to not do something. It is our handicap that can allow an acceptance of procrastination, contentment rather than movement, and even giving up (on or in any number of ways). On the other hand, if we get really good at conquering/moving through fear, we can use fear as the motivation, the inspiration, the impetus to get us to act for we do not want to be where we are. We keep diving into the experiences that bring fear, keep putting ourselves into that state, because it is the only way we know how to feel that rush of fight/flight that leads us to be inspired, push forward, and be motivated. If not the only way at least the main way. Fear lends to thinking (knowing) we need to know more, do more, be more, of whatever it is to get to where we want to be which we think is without fear yet whenever there is calm we find the destination isn’t enough and there is more and we get to get excited about fear again. Or, going back to the first point, we get to feel a moment with little fear till we realize what it takes to keep that and work involved and fear takes over and paralyzes us… rather than realizing the calm without the storm was right beside us already.

You see, what if the path we find and look at as dull, boring, the “yeah I know that”, the “it doesn’t frighten me,” the “where is the challenge path” (there always will be challenges to overcome but maybe not what you want them to be), and that path that just has kind of been there for awhile but well without that fear/risk/etc. we just ignored, exists as something amazing?

It reminds me of the fisherman story where the fisherman is the best in the village. He is young, newly married, and about to have a kid. A big corp. city guy comes in, goes fishing, and tells the fisherman he would like him to come and work on a project he has (he owned a company that dealt with fishing and fishing supplies). So the fisherman goes, he gets the 40+ hr a week job, works hard, and does advance through the company getting to be a director of a specific area. He gets invited by the owner (the big city guy) to go on a fishing excursion. Now the fisherman is tired, stressed, hasn’t gotten to see his kids grow up with all the hours he works, isn’t in the best relationship with his wife but they are still trying to make it work, and again tired. The two are in a small cabin right on a river in a small fishing village. The city guy says, just look at this, this is the dream, this is what we work for. The fisherman looks and asks what do you mean? The city guy says, well one day we can retire, get a cabin in a small village, fish the creeks and rivers every day, spend quality time with our family, and live the easy life. A tear falls from the fisherman’s eyes — that is what he had to start with.

There are a lot of lessons in that story. But as I thought of it in relation to this concept of fear I think of the young fisherman and what he was told by the big city guy. Would he be able to provide a great education to his kid, is he able to provide all the luxuries of life to his wife, and any number of other things that elicit a sense of fear. And maybe the fisherman was a risk taker, a person who enjoyed the feeling of adrenaline. As he lived in the city that adrenaline most was experienced through fear and stress. He had this attachment to being more, doing more, providing more, living more…., and fear of not being able to do it pushed him to conquer, push through, and rise above. Until that realization that all that fear, all that stress, all of it was to get back to the beginning.

I realize that the tangent of that story took my mind into different components from where I started. So, coming back around what if there is that other way. To not go to the city (profane world, the everyday, the do/be/etc more) and instead travel a path that doesn’t bring such extremes.

It isn’t perhaps as exhilarating, we might not get to share a story of our dark night of the soul (for we may not have one — at least not like others), we might not feel like we are fighting, struggling, drowning, we might even find that components say of entrepreneurship which before felt frustrating, overwhelming, or consuming just seem to flow.

In fact, what if taking this other path is about flow. A flow that might not include so many class 5 rapids but rather a whole bunch of 2’s and 3’s spread to where we enjoy but don’t get bogged down as much.

I am finding it isn’t an illusion… these thoughts or some positive dream… it is possible.

I was going to bring in numerology on this post but it will be the next one as my hands and neck need a rest.



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