The Problem With Pain

The difference between pushing and processing your pain

There are times when things just don’t go as expected, and the people closest to you, in your family or at work, hurt you in some way.

They may have fallen short of your expectations or have had to make a decision that you didn’t agree with — and that turns into hurt or disappointment. That’s happend to me, and I’ve been the one who hurt others.

How would I handle my hurt? In my immaturity season I push instead of process the pain. In pushing it, I would gravitate to passive-aggressiveness, better defined by “the silent treatment” or “mental resistance”.

The Holy Spirit later showed me that what I was doing was wrong, and what is wrong is evil, and what is evil is sin.

I repented and vowed to begin processing my pain (why am I hurt? what part should I own? who do I need to have a conversation with?) instead of pushing my pain onto someone else.

See that no one pays back evil for evil, but always try to do good to each other and to all people.


The opposite of doing evil is doing good. So in this context, if you want to come out on top — do good to the one that has “hurt”. It’s biblical, it’s freeing, it’s healing.

Question: Are you pushing your pain to someone else? Who do you need to have a conversation with after processing your pain?