HOW PERFECTIONISM IS MAKING YOU GAIN FAT —
(and how to overcome it so you can shed fat, tone up, and #lookgoodnaked)
THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I’ve made with FAT LOSS?
AND THE #1 TRAIT that has prevented me from MASSIVE success in life, business, relationships, and more?
>> P E R F E C T I O N I S M <<
Are you a perfectionist too? If you are anything like me you’re a PLANNER. A do-er. Honestly kind of a control freak sometimes.
You love knowing that“if I do XYZ exact thing, I will get XYZ exact result.” If I eat 22 almonds at 6:15pm daily I will shed X amount of weight by X date.
Yes I have been there. Yes I have counted and timed my almond intake. And no, it did not work. It massively backfired on me, actually.
Because you know what happens when you try to force things SO hard and exude SO much CONTROL over your body and food as workouts and life and relationships like this with an exact detailed step-by-step guide to what you should do at precisely what time??
When you derail a little bit… When you deviate from the perfect plan JUST a tiny bit… You freak out. Can’t handle it. Crash and burn. 180 degrees….
If you can’t be 100% PERFECT… well the only option is to be 100% IMPERFECT Isn’t it? All-in with it, because “all in” and 100% is all you know!
And so it goes. The one day you are stuck at work late and your stomach is growling and you forgot your almonds at home so you eat a cookie instead… Instead of mildly swerving, getting back on the road, and cruising your fat loss right back down almost immediately…
You totally and completely crash and burn the entire vehicle. (And this is an expensive luxury vehicle mind you).
Might as well eat the whole pack. And some pizza. Your day is ruined. “Diet starts tomorrow.” (…You said yesterday…)
Here is the truth gorgeous:
LIFE is not perfect and will throw you curveballs. LIFE does not care about your almond feeding schedule when you come home exhausted and starving because you missed lunch. Or when you’re traveling in Europe and just want almond flavored gelato instead of real almonds. Orrr quite simply… on the day that you run out out of almonds and the store is closed.
LIFE does not give an eff and will do whatever it wants regardless of your meticulous “plan.”
Trying to be perfect and control everything in your life in such an imperfect world where literally NOTHING happens according to plan… it’s literally like fitting a square peg in a round hole. ****ITS NEVER going to work**** and if somehow you manage to force it in, it’ll never feel comfortable and still be awkward.
And here is what you need to know, gorgeous:
PERFECTIONISM IS ANOTHER FORM OF FEAR.
Fear that if you aren’t 100% perfect at all times on ALL fronts you will be a failure and let everyone else down and never be successful.
Fear of what people will even THINK if they see the real you hidden under the surface, underneath all the titles and badges and degrees and money and body and “success.”
Fear that they’ll see the REAL you who is not perfect at ALL, who comes home and stress eats, who is worried about the million things she has to do at work and terrified that she won’t make her deadlines and not get the promotion, who even as an adult is secretly deep down scared of letting your parents down because what will all the aunties and relatives and their friends think? What will all your friends think if you fail? They’ll just gossip about you like they gossiped about that other woman and that would probably be the worst thing possible that could happen to your life.
No one wants that.
The need for perfectionism and total control — especially with food — comes from deep, deep, deep fears, mostly because “success” — or what you think success is, is such a deep part of your identity at this point. So if you fail to keep up the appearances, who even ARE you?
So.
How do you over come this fear?
How do you live a LIFE where you can go out with your friends and enjoy your some ice cream like a NORMAL person without losing control and eating 3 helpings and finishing your friend’s cake too while you’re at it?
It starts with trust.
In yourself.
Having faith.
Constantly reminding yourself that you are enough and WILL succeed even on the days you can only give 90% or 70% or even 50% or deviate slightly.
Reminding yourself that just because you drop your phone on the ground, doesn’t mean you don’t have to smash it on the ground completely. Trust that it’s fine, pick it up, and get a move on with your life.
(Also — If you’re the type of high achieving person who has read this far, you know that even your 10% effort is still miles ahead of most people’s 100% effort in life…)
And when it comes to food and FAT LOSS a F L E X I B L E, adaptable approach is critical. It’s a no brainer. THIS is the entire reason I preach flexible dieting so hard. Because not only does it teach you enough basic NUTRITION knowledge to sustain yourself forever, it also teaches you how to ADAPT your food situations and circumstances to whatever traffic comes your way.
Because remember: your DREAM BODY IS NOT created on the days you eat your almonds on time. It’s created on the days you CANNOT eat your almonds on time, on the days you’re hungry as hell at 5pm and your friends want to go to happy hour. What do you do? How do you react? Can you adapt and stay on track with your nutrition and still do the best you can with what you got at the bar? Or do you throw it all away, crash and burn your diet, and end up having to climb all the way back up the mountain the next day?
No wonder you’re so frigging EXHAUSTED and frustrated and spent and fed up with your body and feel like no diet is ever going to work for you…
Look girlfriend: 70 percent effort is going to get you a LOT further with your goals than zero percent effort.
(Think of it like taking an exam. If you get sick on the day of the final would you rather stay home, get a zero, and fail the class? Or would you rather show up, get a 70 but still pass the exam and get into college? Hmm??)
I want to share a personal example.
Life has just thrown me a MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE curveball. Instead of spending the week in Beijing with my boyfriend and his family as planned… a family emergency has medicated that I fly to India 🇮🇳 to say goodbye to a loved one, my grandpa whom I love dearly and has had a massive impact on who I am today.
Yes this sucks. Yes it’s emotional. And no it isn’t the “plan” or the dream vacation I had planned out so perfectly in my head!
No I probably won’t be able to get my workouts in or meet my daily protein needs or keep up all things with the business or check in with clients or post on Instagram or answer all my DMs by 10pm and get 8 hours of sleep like I try to do daily…
But ya know what? I fully and deeply trust myself, and know I will still succeed on my goals despite ‘life’ and its curveballs!
Instead of forcing and controlling every detail I have practiced and practiced and practiced adapting to changing situations DAILY, when I go out to eat with friends, when I go on dates with my boyfriend, when I travel, when I decide I want ice cream after dinner.
I know how to eat for my body and how to adapt my nutrition to various circumstances. I trust that my body will stay hot even if I do a few bodyweight circuits in the room instead of my exact weights and HIIT routine. Business wise, I trust that and have faith that I’ll still be inspired daily to create amazing content and even if I miss a few days my business will be fine and women will still want to work with me in the future to get their dream body.
Because I trust myself and love who I AM, and know that, I, JUST LIKE YOU are a phenomenal goddess queen who makes a massive impact and attracts all I desire in my life, and is happy and completely fulfilled EVEN WHEN things are IMPERFECT.
This is life. THIS IS HOW YOU SUCCEED. THIS is how you achieve the next level, the 1% level of success and TRUE happiness where you feel at peace and ease when you crush your goals… (Instead of feeling guilty and like a failure because you didn’t do even more and ‘but it wasn’t perfect’ or like ‘it’s still not good enough.’)
Let go of the damn control, let go of the fear, let go of trying to put a fake mask of perfection on you life and your diet when in reality you know things are NEVER PERFECT.
Yes, when it comes to your body and fat loss you need to know the tactical skills. These are key. You need to learn the basics of nutrition and how to utilize flexible dieting, so you can eat to shed fat NO MATTER what cuisine or situation you’re in. I will have new programs in August coming out on exactly this stuff so stay tuned. (If you want early bird access to all programs before they fill up, sign up for my email list below — )
But above all, above all tactical stuff, to succeed you MUST have the confidence to TRUST your FULL self EVEN WHEN you’re not perfect.
So. Tonight, take off the makeup, take off the fancy pencil skirt, take off your lacy bra and look at who you actually are in the mirror. Do you LOVE what’s truly inside of you underneath the glitz and the glam facade of your “perfect” success in life? Do you #lookgoodnaked? Do you feel like a goddess inside, born to attract MASSIVE success in everything you do, thrive with BEAUTIFUL relationships, and make MAJOR impact in this world, and turned ON by LIFE every day?
Repeat after me this morning to re-inforce it:
>> I am enough, loved, supported, and celebrated… even when I’m imperfect.
>> I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
>> I know for sure that my goals are mine, simply because I desire them.
>> I am goddess inside, born to attract MASSIVE success in everything I do, thrive with BEAUTIFUL relationships, and make MAJOR impact in this world.
>> I am turned ON by LIFE every day.
And remember: life starts with your body.
Xx 💋 Dee
Send me a DM on Instagram or comment below if you read to this post and related to it! @dee_gautham . ALSO — make sure you sign up for my email list if you want free workouts, nutrition tips, and more good stuff from me always. Link is here: https://deegauthamfitness.activehosted.com/f/1
PS: If you want some AWESOME WORKOUTS to shed fat, tone up, and #lookgoodnaked, make sure you get my FREE dumbbell guide here!! https://deegauthamfitness.activehosted.com/f/3