My Subway Romance
(or Just Another Nightmare on the New York City Transit System)
I was single until late in life, and spent years dating in the hopes of finding The One. One weekend, after I moaned about my single status even more than usual, one of my philosophical friends said “it could be worse.” I was not in the mood for this crasher of my Pity Party and gave her The Look.
That Monday morning started out like any other. I was on the subway, as usual. It was packed, as usual. The train came to an abrupt stop and someone bumped into me, as usual. And I said nothing, all per usual. Then came something unusual. Or at least uncommon.
“Say excuse me!” barked a male voice.
I did what I always do when there’s conflict on the subway. I looked down at whatever I was reading, which, in this instance, was my shoes. (This was before mobile devices.)
“I didn’t touch your girl!” said a different male voice.
While focusing intently on the “current events” page of my reading material, namely, the new scuff mark on the toe box of my pumps, it began to dawn on me that this exchange was happening very near me…and…just possibly, was about me.
“You knocked right into her!” said Male Voice #1.
I turned my head surreptitiously and saw, out of the corner of my eye, two men, quite near each other and, more important, me, glaring at each other. More disturbing, everyone else in the area was watching, some openly and some from behind the newspapers they had actually been reading the moment before.
“I told you, I didn’t touch your girl!” Male Voice #2 shouted.
The two men were now practically touching noses — not to mention the aforementioned toe box.
MALE VOICE #1: “I saw you! Apologize!”
MALE VOICE #2: “I told you, I don’t got nuthin’ to do with your girl!”
As I exited the train, I actually felt kind of good. Not because the only show of gallantry I’d ever experienced had just made me feel violated, and certainly not because I’d had to get off seven stops early. I felt good because I finally appreciated how wise my friend had been. Being single still sucked. But it really could be worse.
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