you choose, always.

Looking around me, makes me wonder.

Why is everyone living the same life?

Or maybe they’re not, may be I live around people who live the same life as I do. It’s only when I look beyond me, that I see things I’ve never seen before. I see life I’ve never seen before. I dream. Now, I feel fear, anxiety, doubt and thought. I love to explore, but I’m afraid where I may end up exploring. Maybe, it’s the reason I’ve stopped exploring. I’ve stopped dreaming. Everyone has stopped dreaming.

I wish I had the courage to dream again, just like when I was 5 years old. Sometimes I do dream but always fail to live by my dream. In my dream, I’m always happy. Also, I know that I’m dying one second at a time and the best way to die every second is by living the way I want to, happy as in my dream.

I need to get rid of my fears in order to truly live. And how do I get rid of any fear? By knowing that the fear is not real, that it is only in my imagination will help me face it. I can win over my fear only by facing it. Only after I’m over my fears that I’m truly free. Only then I can see the power of choice in every moment of my life.

How have I accumulated these fears? What are these fears I have? I think, everything I fear has come from my past. I fear being a success, because I came out as an arrogant prick when I was a kid. I fear being a failure, because I was made to stand outside of the classroom. I wasn’t strong enough then to see the reality of it, the success-failure hypocrisy of the world. Everyone has seen it now, but the fears are far too strong to overcome. My past, makes me fear my future. What is real? My past or My future? Both are just illusions, of events happened or will happen.

The only truth I have to face my fear, is choice.

Choice, is the only thing I have. The power of choosing your present is the only reality. That power can only be obtained my mastering your fears.

An example may help me remember it. Living is similar to painting. You choose a colour, say green, and paint till you can’t paint anymore. Green may not be right, may be blue beside will make it right. No, that was not right. Maybe, yellow around can brighten it. Without realising it, you may paint a peacock. But, I must make sure I use every colour though, at least in my painting.

Do you think there’s a perfect painting? Yeah, me neither.

I need to work on my fears, master them in order to see how beautiful this world full of possibilities is. I guess so do you. Everyone of you.