All My Friends In Bali Are Not Human

Someone’s relaxed, check out buddies’ facial expression

So in between “working,” I hit up the famous money forest, conveniently located right across the coworking space.

Six hundred grey haired, long tailed Balinese monkeys roam free in this very well preserved rainforest, complete with a temple, a prayer room and footpaths galore.

Rumour has it (more so Wikipedia) that the Monkey Forest Sanctuary was created based on three Hindu principles; relationships between humans and humans, between humans and the natural environment, and between humans and The Supreme God.

Contemplating life

Not only does this place conserve monkey, rare plants and trees, it’s a great spot to research social interactions between monkeys and humans. (Thanks Wikipedia!)

Somewhere along the lines, the forest also became a tourist attraction.

So yeah, I saw tons of monkeys, doing monkey things. I was more impressed by the actual rainforest and nature reserve. So lush and jungly, it could have easily been the set for the original Predator movie. And that’s reason enough to visit this spot.

Jungle / Nature / Ubud

To me, it didn’t feel like a major tourist attraction, maybe I happened to go on a day that most tourists decided they didn’t feel like getting eaten alive by a shit ton of mosquitos? Who knows, who cares? But you do leave the place acting a bit like a monkey yourself, itching the crevices of your body from all dem nasty bites.

While excursioning through the forest, every 5 minutes or so, I would hear these giant things rustle and fall from the trees, the sound was loud enough to make you jerk. I overheard someone say that the forest was mostly made up of giant nutmeg trees. Never knew nutmeg could be the size of a pear.

I’ve heard horror stories about the monkeys being vicious and aggressive over food that the tourists feed them. I didn’t see that happen, but could imagine it. However, the babies wouldn’t harm anyone, they were super cute as they picked their own assess. See recap video below

Funny story, there was a hot, teeny bopper tourist wearing a crochet halter top, similar to the slutty ones most of my friends wore back in our high school clubbing days, or our visits to Montreal, (you know who you are, slutketeers:) Anyhoo, this one baby monkey (who couldn’t have been more than one years old) noticed halter top hottie and her side boob action. He latched onto her waist and starts tugging at her top to get to her boob.

The best part was this typical, dad bod tourist, (I’m talking safari hat, a strip of sunscreen on his nose and a knock off polo shirt) also saw the determination by Curious George, yelled out in what sounded like a Russian accent “now that’s a man!”

After experiencing monkey forest, I went to the coworking space, not to work but to sit on a beanbag chair and read, and to see if I would meet any interesting characters.

[Sidebar: Met one a few days ago, but can’t really talk about it, because we’re now Facebook friends, and “Tony” (unisex pseudo name) might read this and I have some interesting things to say about our meet and hang — see what I did there; avoided attaching a gender to the mysterious Tony. Friends, make sure I tell you about Tony when I’m back.

P.s,. I’m reading Room right now by Emma Donoghue and I can’t put it down. Highly recommend this novel.

Anyhoo, I found this café that backs up onto the same rice fields that overlook the coworking space. I mean I didn’t find it, it was so close with such a great view that it found me. Man, this town is lacking good views! I decided to grab dinner there. It was great. They served Laksa (my favourite Singaporean dish) and had great Wi-Fi. I took advantage of the better-than-average high speed connection and started face timing with friends in the same time zone.

So to recap, this random cafe experience was particularly good for the following reasons;

  1. Served a dish I haven’t had since I was in Singapore almost 10 years ago. Shout outs to Lisa Ly, my Singapore travel bud!
  2. Great Wi-Fi.
  3. The sun was about to set so there was the most pleasant breeze coming through, while in the day I am constantly wiping sweat from dripping into my eyeballs.
  4. That awful view overlooking luscious rice fields.
  5. I sat right beside a pond that had one little turtle in it. This little guy would come out of the water, walk about 2–3 feet away from me, we would have a starring competition, then he would dive back in his pond. He did this at least 3 times. Franklin the Turtle and I connected that day.
Franklin the Turtle

The server told me Franklin does that. He eats both meats and veggies and loves his bread. Who knew?

I guess it would help to mention the name of the cafe, in case any of you plan to visit Ubud. Minor details, will figure that out later.

So I met two types of friends in one day — monkeys and Franklin. Yet, I hope never to meet the third one again.

When I got back to my place, which I love at this point — I’ve never appreciate AC as much as I do here, I went to the bathroom and on the white wall was a jet black spider that was slightly bigger than the size of my palm. Man, I couldn’t pee with that sucker a few feet away. Remember my shower floor is made of stones, I looked for one bigger than the spider and threw it at him. He knew it was coming. It took a few more tries but I got him.

Not the actual spider I found in my bathroom but close enough. This guy is also the size of my palm. He hangs out on my patio.

Then I found his sister in the shower hiding among the stones! This time I gently put another stone on top her, and that was the first good sleep I’ve had since being in Bali.

Fuck, that was all in one day!

Not all days are this eventful. For example, yesterday I didn’t leave my loft at all. The end.

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