Enter the Dragon — Pt. 1 of 3

Within & Without

“These eyes, thru which I hoped to see God, are the eyes thru which God sees me” — Rainbow Eye by Youtuber1204

This may turn into a private journal, as it’s an inner exploration into how I’m feeling — burdened, heavy — weighted down. Something wants to be released, but the way out of such things seems to be by diving into them — to uncover what’s under & behind how we feel. This feels awful.

There’s some crying in there, trying to surface — so let’s get out of the way, & see what arises. What’s out of place, what’s not just right? For one who’s been strong all her life, going it alone the vast majority of the time, sometimes that comes at the expense of unallowed grief. We typically block such awkward feeling emotions just to put one foot in front of another, to keep plowing ahead.


We don’t get away with that, forever, though — not on the awakening trek, where all such things surface to be released — or once again, ignored or repressed. Not saying we have to relive every difficult moment — re-experience all of that — yet waking-up morphs us onto a path of allowing, of releasing. So we take what comes, whatever arises, as our Now-moment assignment, you could say.

We don’t run away, anymore. We let that go, somewhere along the way. We’re willing to be shown what we need to see, knowing it wouldn’t be arising for no reason. Source isn’t cruel — ever.

It’s so funny, really — how far I’ve come along this trek, to be carrying such a burden of grief over how one of my cats passed. It’s a strange story, to be sure, so if you like cats, here we go. Purrsilla was a beautiful part-Siamese cat, rather plump, but all that could be desired in a beloved pet. We’re going into some dark places, here, so buckle-up. (Sheesh — that tells me this will be published. Oh, well…)

For the first time, had to go lay down to relax & go deeper within, to allow this stuff to arise, to continue the journal. I don’t care at what point you are in your awakening journey, as long as we’re present in 3D, we have a mind on-board — & minds always have issues, it seems. Fruit for observation, it all is.

This is for the brave ones — those willing to look into their pain, their suffering, depression — call it what you will, those are just words. They’ll fall away soon enough. Yet, we’re in charge of when “soon enough” appears. As long as we have any sort of resistance, that’s an unwillingness to address the load, the burden we’re carrying. It won’t go away by being ignored — that’s a good thing to face — to even embrace.


Why do we have pain? For that matter, why is there pain & suffering in the world? It’s not typical for us to ponder this — unless forced into it, via our own portion thereof. Well — what if that’s precisely what pain is there for — to help us, to invite us to address our internal suffering?

Further, what if the suffering only remains because we’ve been running away from it? What then? It’s time to admit that, on the awakening trek, it’s not all rainbows & lollipops.

We awaken to the great internal Light, yes — but also to the rest, to the darkness few among us seem willing to address (with anything but judgment). We also awaken to the seemingly great darkness that walks the earth with & among us — the many elements of that.

Light frequencies have sufficiently risen now, propelling us higher — however that translates for each one — always different, younique. Often enough, to attain that next step into Heart, we come face-to-face with what’s blocking that — finding that the way out & up is straight through the muck.

This will be some of the most personal revelation I’ve yet done — including previously shared childhood sexual abuse (journal, here). This goes even deeper, so buckle in. Seems impossible to address — mind not being up to the task — but mind is more peripheral in these deeper levels of Heart. We just allow, & the words flow, telling it Heart’s way.

There’s no one living who hasn’t experienced abuse, no matter how seemingly sheltered they are. Our natural response differs — some growing hardened, some running away — others being seemingly shattered. These are the “natural” responses in today’s deeply unnatural state, where it’s rare to find a fellow Heart traveler, one who’s transcended the mind Matrix to any significant extent.


Look around — look within — what you’ll see is a world largely captured, locked into identifying with body, with mind. This is living on the surface of what life was meant to be — Life. Overall, we’ve settled for life in place of Life, not even aware that there’s any other way, any other Reality available. Well, there is, & we get to choose.

When you add to this the massive take-over of mind & its processes across vast stretches of time, a la The Totalitarian Tip-toe of David Icke,[1] you’ve got a mess — an entire society who’s lost touch with itSelf, it’s inner Being. That’s where the Family of Humanity stands, today — that’s our environment.

We’re not delving down into that. It’s only being laid out to provide the context, to help what follows to make sense.


As a result, humanity is brutalized on a regular basis. It comes through the TV, through song lyrics, the behavior of “entertainers,” politicians, governments — so widespread that it’s seriously hard to avoid. Just listen to the MSM “news” for 15 minutes — you’ve had your daily dose — actually, just a small portion thereof, many spending upwards of 6 hours, daily, glued to the tube.

No need to go deeper into that — you get the drift — & the research into it is available (if you want to indulge mind that way ;) Yet, the more we make friends with Heart, the more clarity will arise, enabling us to see beyond the surface activity to what’s going on, below — & within. Due to the darkness on display, few choose to go there, preferring their favored escape routes.

Let’s not concern ourselves with how it got this bad, what we can do to “fix” it, & other mental distractions, choosing instead to take the Heart trek. Heart will reveal all, in perfect, divine timing — if we but allow.

What we’ve got internally, & in society as a whole, especially in the West, is a traumatized populace. Through the use & misuse of psychology, it was long ago discovered that a personality can be fractured, can be shattered into various bits, parts, & pieces quite unaware of one another, via trauma. The book & movie, Sybil, may be one of the most popular to reveal how this can work. The inner being, the soul, retreats deep within, sometimes never to be heard from again, at least in that life.

It won’t be long before humanity self-realizes our state — looks within to find the personal evidence confirming this. Thus, you could say we’re basically all damaged goods — true only from this perspective, however. This whole shtick works only to the extent that people identify with the tormented mind/body.

Who we truly are cannot be touched, much less harmed, by any of this — as Source-in-form.


Yet, who do you know who self-identifies as Source-in-form? Anyone? Likely not. Therein lies the pivot point, the fulcrum on which all rides. It’s more than tricky, friends — more like a mine-field, with danger everywhere, at any step — any external step, that is. The way out — is the way in. Entering the Heart trek, which you’re already on, or you’d have no interest in reading this.

By “external step” I don’t mean with your feet. What this points to is the superficial world/reality that is all that’s available to mind. As we let that sink in, we may begin to see how what seems internal to us — our very mind — is not. It’s been hacked, been made available to such an enormous level of manipulation, abuse & control — by external forces — as to be not truly our own.

When you say, “the enemy is within,” you often refer to the pain, the suffering, the anxiety you feel, but this is not that. Mind is the route into each of us, used by the cabal on such a massive level that it’s frightening, at first, to uncover — to perceive. It takes real courage to choose this trek, & continue on it.


Yet — just who (or what) is afraid, here? Would that be mind? Take a good look, & you’ll know, or at least begin to see how it could well be. As we center ever deeper within — finding Heart “space,” we find the peace in the midst of whatever storm could arise. We are unmoved — well able to take such a tour of the darkness afoot, everywhere.

We are NOT helpless, friends — taken over though we may seem to be. We are not. We just forgot, somewhere along the way, our real identity — as Source-in-form — forgot, too, that the mind is meant to be but a tool in our hip pocket — an important one, surely— but not who we are. The programming of the years, the very ages, can fall away like a breeze lifts new-fallen snow — once we begin to see through eyes of Heart.


Along comes the current massive frequency rise that seems to do nothing but increase, intensify. Source has our backs, of that we can be certain — more certain than of anything else on the scene. As we now participate in the sacred In-Breath of God/Source, all dimensions, all levels, all beings are being inhaled, drawn ever closer to That — as they allow it.

Thus, we have more than ample support for the massive & general Great Awakening now in progress. When we’re willing to forgo the teat of technology & media addiction, we can better feel the divine breezes as they blow. We are also better able to ride the wind, surf the Light waves as they flow through simply everything, everywhere.


Free will is much misunderstood. Some of the greatest adherents of it still believe in an external savior or group, set to come onto the stage & rescue us all — instead of taking responsibility for our part in the current mess. It doesn’t matter what others do, folks —let them go that route, if they like. Free will enables each one to make their own choices — & receive their own results.

The one & only thing over which we have full power & authority is the self — & that’s the straightest route to Heart — to stick strictly with self/Self. Otherwise, how the heck do we ever discover that we are, well & truly, Source-in-form?

This is no small deal, no short walk in the park, the Heart journey. It will focus you like nothing else could, bringing all that you have, all that you are, to the fore — to be seen, to be embraced or released.

This trek activates Heart vision, which has little or nothing in common with 3D sight or 3D mind, being almost entirely “other.” As Source-in-form, we have inner senses that greatly eclipse the outer 5 senses — but we each have to discover them for ourself.

Okay, so there’s the terrain, all laid out for the play, one big aspect of the drama of this life to be shared. We have a mess on the world scene in which all are enmeshed, & the mess within, of the hacked mind. Enter the dragon — almost literally. I’ll be introducing you to one that accompanied my steps in this life until about 2 years ago — in the next journal, as this one is quite long enough. ;)


[1] The Totalitarian Tip-toe was how David Icke expressed the slow, delicate steps taken over long stretches of time — the desired outcome being ever more totalitarian control. One-hundred-year plans are the norm, introducing first the problem to create humanity’s reaction, a natural desire for the solution. Then stretching the problem out, getting us to cry out for the solution — which had been the original plan, all along. Thus, we get things like The Patriot Act, that we’d never have accepted, but for this strategy being its method of introduction.

Abraham-Hicks Daily Quote — 9/11/2017
“It is your rules that make unlawful beings. You would get along better if you would just trust each other to treat each other appropriately, but you don’t. So you keep making laws — until you make criminals of everyone.”
Excerpted from Chicago, IL on 4/25/99
Our Love
Esther (Abraham and Jerry)


1:03 pm, Wednesday 2017/09/13, 1st, Mayan day 2 Deer / Manik