Great article — I love the “fish love” analogy. You mention somewhere that we can’t give what we don’t have. Seems to me the deeper source of the problem you highlight, here, is a real absence of any depth of self-love. We don’t love ourselves enough to listen — to get quiet, all alone, & just let what’s trying to surface in us be heard, be felt.
Often it hurts — likely partially from long repression & from running away from the pain, seeking relief in others, in externals — perhaps a shopping spree. When we don’t love ourselves enough to attend to & openly be with whatever’s arising within — what have we to give? We meet with the same in potential partners — like attracts like. They’re just mirroring us to ourselves.
All real healing begins within. Let’s see to ourselves, then watch as that’s also mirrored back to us. We actually have whatever fulfillment we seek, right within, but it takes going so very deep, where few have the courage to go. I see signs of that changing, shifting — signs of awakening, here & there. We all make more of a difference than we yet know. Let’s take the chance & invest in us. After all, what have we to lose — but the pain, the regret, the suffering, the torment?
Blessings to one & to all.