Self-Blame — Seen from Heart

“These eyes, thru which I hoped to see God, are the eyes thru which God sees me” — Rainbow Eye, Youtuber

Coming to this one empty, with no ideas around what will arise. Witnessing such swift internal changing, not just in myself. What an awesome time to be embodied, here on planet earth. The skies are the limit when it comes to what could unfold for us all, for those willing to take the wild ride that it promises to be.

Where do we stand with our sense of who we are, our self-definition? Have you pondered, even sought out your depths, via the Heart portal? Were you able to observe mind at work, somewhat externally, while Present, there?

Heart offers a great perspective for viewing mind.
Fireheart —

This ongoing shift in humanity is potentially so great that not everyone will join in at the same time. For some, it may take some generations — for others, this could well be the last 3D earth lifetime — all resting on our use of free will. It will soon be seen that it’s the endless number of small choices that add up to the big shift — guided by our underlying intent, our steadfastness to that — not any mental decision at all.

Along with losing touch with our deep Inner Being, we also lost touch with our Now, our NowHere moment, most choosing to spend their now in time-traveling mind, ever visiting both future & past. As the entry portal abides only in Now, they won’t be getting the sense of what’s being shared, here — which is fine. Free will rocks. Short attention spans suck.

A fine (belief) flower to plant is the No Possible Mistake variety — it’s not possible at any time to make a mistake, to do anything “wrong.”

Such concepts are quite absurd to mind, & quite absent from Heart perspective. While it’s shocking to mind, with all of its installed beliefs & programs, it makes perfect Heart sense. Each one will discover this after sufficient inner exploration, each journey there being unique.


Mind feels masterful when it can make broad generalizations, demonstrating its mastery of a certain topic or aspect of reality. There are no broad generalizations of any kind within Heart, which stands in deep recognition of the awesome uniqueness of each one. Thus, no generalizations are possible. Each path is unique since each being is unique.

All that programmed mind took to be its strengths, its great accomplishments, are as nothing when centered deep in Heart. Likewise, the strengths & beauties of Heart are seen as foolishness by the mind. Only experience will show us what is what, for no question asked of mind can elicit the least bit of knowledge regarding Heart.

It wasn’t always this way, In the days before The Matrix basically took over the minds of humanity, mind was more pure, sometimes even able to step into oneness with Divine Mind, or Higher Self, for they are largely the same. Thus, the flaws reside not in the nature of 3D mind, but in the multi-layered programming it has endured, the overlay on its operation.


I only saw this recently, for my prior best understanding was that 3D mind, itself, was flawed. It’s been simply ages since it functioned naturally, unhindered by such dark programs, our many belief systems. Such historical times didn’t make the cut into our history books, however, leaving us unfamiliar with the possibilities, the potentials of our 3D mind.

It was through direct experience with what I call buckling 3D mind into the back seat for the ride, where I was able to attain much deeper penetration into Heart. I just assumed that mind, itself, was the culprit there, & that Higher Mind was something other, unlike lower mind. Now I realize that they are — or can be — simply one.

Thus, it’s the programming, not the mind that’s at fault for things of Heart seeming to be so very strange. It’s our programming, i.e., our internal Belief Systems, that run always counter to Heart awareness, masking our real inner Being, whose ways are completely other than those of today’s 3D mind.


What do I mean, there? Let’s take a for-instance, something everyone’s mind has been trained to do — self-blame. Who among us hasn’t done something, anything that they regret, that they wish they either hadn’t done, or had handled it otherwise? Let’s look at that.

From Heart perspective, it’s not even possible to make a mistake. (Don’t be in mind with this, for it has no hope of getting the meaning.) So, if you literally can’t do anything wrong, what about self-blame? How does that fit into this picture? It doesn’t right? Yet, how could that be?

I just rose from a 10-minute rest in my bedroom, away from computer & all tech, during which I was shown something I’ve been quietly harboring for over a decade. I’d accepted a job as database manager for the local VA office. Having been a database technical analyst in communications for some years, I took the job when it was offered.

Two things happened, there. First, I was unaware that my body had a pretty serious case of lymphoma — one that almost took my life. It’s interesting that the doctor offering the position was also the head of oncology in the hospital. I knew him because my mother, also a veteran, had lymphoma before me — he was her doc. Awesome guy — Clive Zent, now at Mayo Clinic.

In being with Mom, often while he was in attendance, we got to know one another. As he discovered my work for Alltel Mobile, a communications firm, he mentioned the open position for the VA, which I accepted. It didn’t take two weeks on the job for me to realize that I wasn’t qualified for it — oh, how deeply miserable that felt!!

After soldiering on for about a month — in the midst of physical pain so terrible I often had to close my office door — I finally fessed-up, admitting I wasn’t the right one for the job. (Still didn’t know about the lymphoma.) Within a month, I found myself back, this time as a patient in his clinic, where I spent a long time — about 6 weeks, I think, maybe longer. Though he almost lost me, he was ingenious in many ways, one of which was to bring medical marijuana (in gel cap form) into my regimen.

Eventually, I came back to myself, beginning to notice things around me — to care, again. What a trek that was! Yet, what I noticed over time was a severely curbed sense of self-confidence. I felt deeply foolish for taking the job, for then letting him down, deeply questioning myself. I have 4 university degrees, 3 with honors, yet I’d made such a foolish, seemingly ridiculous mistake. Do you see?


In the short rest I just took, I was shown this episode in my life, allowing the old feelings to surface, looking at them, feeling them. Yet, now, being in Heart most of the time, it again looked ridiculous, but in a new way. How often have I said, “You cannot make a mistake?” This was a whole loop of mind programming, still cycling under the surface, lodged in the subconscious mind. It needed to come up, to be seen while in Heart.

This is some of the benefit of just allowing whatever pain to surface, willing to just be with yourself. Heart perspective is so radically different, its awareness so much vaster than anything available to mind & thought. There were excellent reasons, great outcomes, from going that route. This was also an initiation of sorts for the doctor, not just me. It all worked out fine, the relationship was not tattered or torn.


Everything happens for a reason, with perfect divine timing, only visible, at times, to Heart — never to mind. We have so much to release & for which to forgive ourselves, friends. We all carry such burdens beneath our surface awareness. We’re all down on the self for this or that, for many things, as I hope you’re aware.

As we find our way into Heart, such things will come up. We’ve got some house-cleaning to do, releasing it all in the awareness that nothing is or ever was wrong. It happened as it did, which mind doesn’t fully understand, so our programming kicked-in. Time to let all of that go & just be the divine Dance that we are, once we get out of the way. Only then do we begin to see (some of) the purpose behind such events.

Life is much deeper than we’ve taken it to be. One of the benefits of the difficult things is what we learned from them, yes? We’re the wiser for having taken whatever our trek, unlikely to handle ourselves that way going forward. Others are also involved who have something to gain by how things transpired. I have no idea what Dr. Zent took from that, but it’s not my business to know, so that’s fine.


As we pull our misplaced trust out of reliance on mind to chart our course, we come into a much closer relationship with ourself. It’s not that we place trust in self, but in the Inner Being, the Source-in-form that we come to know ourself to be, over time. Our trust is in Source & in divine timing — in the Dance. From the other side this will all make better sense, yet we can connect with it here, but only from Heart.

There is no actual individual self here, there, or in anyone. That’s found to be a part of the illusion of the game on the stage of 3D earth, exposing itself more & more as it all rises into higher frequencies, higher dimensions. As we make our way into the internal emptiness, the seeming void of no-self,

things clarify at an increased pace.

No one can hand anyone an experience of Heart. Though we’re not separate, yet we’re unique aspects of the One, retaining that uniqueness all the way through. We don’t awaken by following someone else. Our journey is ours, our choices our own. We get to explore, to discover for ourselves what is True.

It’s a tricky business, for the mind programming is extreme. Whatever Belief Systems we hold, those will determine the boundaries of what we can experience. If you believe you’re a winner, you are — if you believe you’re a loser, you are. It’s all very strange to the mind aspect of our being, but we don’t rely only on that, rather setting it aside ever more on the awakening trek, clearing its programming as that arises along our way.

The biggest thing is to walk our talk, to be true to what we’ve discovered along our way. Old remnants of our earlier self, with its earlier understandings, will come up simply to be seen & released. So don’t let yourself cycle in rounds of self-condemnation or blame. Spot that for what it is, old mind programming at work. It holds no benefit, & can be safely released.

For those who would take all of this to mind, thinking they may do as they like, because they “can’t do anything wrong,” you’ll pay the price for that. Nor is that what’s being said, here. Find your way into your own Inner Being, then read it again ;)



6:55 pm, Saturday 2017/10/14, 3rd, Mayan day 7 Flint / Etznab