“The Last Bus”
I was always consumed by the question “What if?”. Sometimes, it gave a clarity to the doubt of the moment. Whilst sometimes, it had dire consequences. Well,most of the time. It ain’t a good thing, to be honest.!
One fine spring day, I was reflecting on everything that has ever happened. I was wondering what went so wrong. It almost felt like I woke up from a long nap and somehow,people I knew and respected became complete strangers. For the first time in my life, I could not recognize myself. It was like having sleep paralysis. I could not grasp the reality,but it was not a dream either. I wanted to let go of the invisible hand that was holding me back.I wanted to scream from the insane sanity of the harsh reality. It came in slowly, epiphany after epiphany. The first 25 years of my life, was nothing ,but a mirage. A self created prison, and a high wall people built for me, to trap in their own insecurities and for them,to escape. TRUST ME, it was not mine to begin with.
Fast forward six months, I came out of the rut and can proudly announce that it was not a pretty phase. It was daunting .However, it was during those fleeting moments that I learnt to be respectful of myself. Self-discipline was something that I practiced daily. Confidence was a trait that I acquired and not for once did I ever stopped learning. Let it be,a simple task everyday. Somehow,the lessons I learnt became a key factor in deciding what I am about to embark upon- A journey ,an opportunity and a lifeline. And, it all happened because I changed my perception and perspective on life.
One morning,I decided to note down things I should be doing. That pretty much was the first step, I was so afraid to take. The leap of faith,of intuition and gut feelings. I did everything on the long list and it showed distinctly how much I have procrastinated.The things I wrote in the list was simple. It was a daily routine of getting up on time,writing at least few sentences on how I felt that day ,or cook for my family.I decided to do the small things that I ignored,for the bigger picture to fall into place.The past one year and a half has been a tremendously long journey about finding myself .What I found it fascinating was the person that I was not.It gave me answers long awaited. I could have stood there ,let the world sabotage the castle that I have built, the long ties that I have created. But,I took the other route.The more difficult terrain. Well, living in a changed frame of mind is hard. Let alone,completely burning it. The best reward,however,is the person that I am becoming.
And, I think I just got on the last bus to pursue my dream career.

Remember, if you are brave enough to tune into the magic of new beginnings and surrender the old,the last opportunity will show up even when there was no hope at all.
