I think George Carlin said this: “The funniest people are the saddest people.” Then he went on to say Albert Brooks wasn’t funny because he was too happy. A snippet of an interview I watched when I was a kid. I’ve never forgotten it.
The people who hold all my answers are dead, too. Short of crystal balling it, there’s nothing I can do. That there’s a profound frustration would be putting it mildly. Why it’s bugging me now is crazy making.
You’re not alone in this. Not at all.