Truth is, I never believed in butterflies. For most of my life, I was what you'd regard as the “hard guy” – this was because I never believed in the concept of love and affection – and all my teenage fantasies fizzled away even before they were formed. Most times, I craved things I knew that were like a future impossible concept. My dreams died even before the morning came and so, whenever the words, “Love is beautiful” found their way into the conversation with my girls, I ran away. I ran so fast and so far away, just to make sure I wasn't close to the conversation.
Yes, I did have a few chemistries and mixed talking stages – the kinds that ended up in pretty stale and bland situationships – but they were beautiful, at least. For instance, I remember this guy, Weng. He was too talented and too good to be true. He had everything right: looks were killing, talent was sterling, and personae were unique but he had a chronic problem – he was a clean-cut liar. This was not all. Per his talented skill set, he womanized a lot. I had an issue getting 100% of his time and attention. His affection was top-notch, but a player is a player, irrespective of his “claims” to want me.
Just like Weng, I had issues with the guys around. Everyone seems to have their emotions high and uncontrolled; pitiful if you ask me! I often thought I was the problem. Always friend-zoning the guys coming my way [gosh, I've got a million and one male friends]. Or maybe, it was because I wanted to be closer to home by marrying a Plateau man; and this is not me saying Plateau men cheat – Sons of Adam do that instead – so, don't get me wrong.
I tried going out with Brian. Oh, he was sweet! He made the first 2 weeks of our relationship an absolute thrill but by the third week, it was like I had gotten a mobile phone from SLOT in Lagos, and I was given a dysfunctional one. Phew! It was exhausting. You see, the thing said about a large chunk of military men was the truth. Nothing short of an absolute truth. They cared for their women but their eyes wandered far and wide, seeking deserts in dire need of an oasis.
I had to cut it off with my fine light-skinned Igbo boo. It was more of a good riddance to bad rubbish, I wouldn't lie.
I had decided to stay away from men, till Manji came around.
We met during my sophomore year. He was a Sociology major student who had a thing for art, communication, music and the theatre. I had mistaken him to be a theatre and film arts student; most of his friends were in that department and he was always around them. It was a shock knowing that the tall, well-groomed and beard-dark man was a future sociologist (who isn't practising at the moment); although, his degree gave him an edge in his interpersonal, social and networking skills. He was the life of every party he was at. He had a good way with words, knew how to dress, smelled nice (more like, sunflowers with christened dew) and never lost his boyish charm. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight, but at the third meeting, we had spoken for the longest hours possible, ending our conversation with a mobile number exchange and a warm hug that was comforting.
We decided to be serious two weeks before we rounded up our degree program. Discussing plans and the big picture, I realized he already had me in his plans before I even had a definitive response.
“Babe…”, he'd always begin. “You know, I'd make it big with my tech skills. I'm into the no-coding space and with my writing and audio engineering skills, I see myself making it big and marrying you”.
My response would always be a girly blush, playing with my hair and dragging him close for a kiss.
God, I love this man…I'd always think to myself.
He was the most intentional being I knew. My brothers lagged in being intentional and I had to teach them, over and over again, especially Chomo. He never had a firm hold on women, dating one today and losing another the next week. We had given up on him, but he's family.
Manji had moved to Lagos. He worked his way into getting posted there and gained employment in a digital marketing firm. Post-service year, he was retained as a Digital Marketing Strategist and became the Chief Marketing Officer, for the West African region in less than 2 years of joining the company.
Never have I been so proud!
Despite the fact he had to travel a lot, he always stopped by to see me, with surprises here and there, just to see me smile.
He became my favourite person and addiction. I always grinned ear to ear anytime my screen notification popped up with his name.
“This man has jazzed you”, Nerat said on the day he proposed…
To be continued…
