Super Power

You’ve heard the question: which super power would you choose? I’ve never responded with the most popular choice of invisibility. Not even when I was a pretty little girl and people saw only my long blond hair. I wished they would see my brain.

Not even as a young woman when I was subjected to catcalls, pick up lines, fondling, and worse. I wished they would see my abilities.

As a child whose father died when I was seven, I craved attention, but not for my looks. I wanted to be known for my work, my sense of humor, my kindness, or my compassion.

For a time — a couple of decades — I felt seen for who I was. I received compliments and acknowledgment of my accomplishments rather than my physical appearance. I felt more attractive than ever.

But at a certain age, women begin to disappear, and not only from the male gaze. Drivers don’t see you. Cashiers look past you to the next person in line. People bump into you on the street, push past you in doorways.

Recently I went on a helicopter ride. The chopper was small, with room for only four people, including the pilot. No bags. My friend and I were able to get tickets, but not on the same helicopter. She went first.

When it was my turn, the other two tourists were young women, apparently in their twenties. We were assigned seats based on weight. The smaller woman was to sit next to the male pilot. The other woman and I were to sit together in the back seats.

My fellow travelers put up a fight. They wanted to sit together. They suggested leaving “her” [me] behind. I was surprised they knew my gender, we had had no eye contact, no verbal exchange. I knew their preferred pronouns because they referred to each other as she and her.

The pilot again explained the seats were assigned on weight so the aircraft would be evenly balanced. One woman said, “But it’s her birthday!” The pilot assured her that every seat was a window seat, and held firm to the seating arrangement.

For the duration of the flight, I was never acknowledged. When I spoke, no one responded or even looked up. I felt well and truly shunned.

I spent my time enjoying the view, ignoring the other passengers, taking a few pictures of the beautiful city below us, and being grateful that I had this opportunity.

Did I mention my choice of super powers? I like to fly.