I’m Ron Burgundy?


As a professional Expat for the past 3 decades, the international version of CNN has been one of my primary visual news sources, alongside BBC, France24 and Al Jazeera.

The prominently featured trio of Hala Gorani, Becky Anderson and Richard Quest however, have, as a unit, made CNNi basically unwatchable.

Completing the quartet is super nauseating “World Sport” anchoress Lara ‘Yeah, like OK’ Baldesarra who seems to be on a relentless mission of explaining the inner workings of AC Milan to constituents made up of Paris Hilton and Mary-Kate and Ashley wannabes. Being born into an athletic family appears to be her greatest qualification for this job.

Little Hala from next door is clearly lacking the intellect, but then again so is State Department Spokeswoman Jen Psakis who threatened to send the 6th Fleet to the shore of Belarus. At least she tries and seems to have enough of a personality to enjoy a cold one with. Don’t sell that Hala!

Da Richard on the other hand is just one big goof. Remember when he was arrested in New York’s Central Park at 3:00 am I must be lonely, with his boyfriend in tow and a single rope tied around his neck and nuts? The bags of Crystal Meth in his pocket were just secondary. I am a firm believer in second chances, but giving this clown a global financial show in which his worn-out cake hole is supposedly whistling a profitable tune, is clearly out of order. “Quest means Business”? Making him CNN’s Aviation Expert does make sense however, due to his extensive experience of being high as a kite.

But it is Madame Anderson, the Queen of Irrelevant Questions, who takes home the Gold. As a self-proclaimed Middle East expert, of which there are too many anyways these days, she knows far too little about Arab culture. All one needs to do is take a look at the 60 second trailer for her program “Connect the World with Becky Anderson”, during which she asks an Emirati or Kuwaiti dignitary something about Hamas as she sticks the sole of her 5 inch stiletto heel into the poor man’s face. Showing the sole of your shoes, a serious insult in Arab culture as any Middleschooler can tell you. Talk about Becky disconnecting the world. To top it off, this moment was enough of a highlight of the show to plug it into the trailer, tsk, tsk, tsk. Who are the ignoramuses at CNNi that allow this kind of crap? Ted Turner is rolling over in his grave…oh, sorry, he’s not dead yet.

Collectively, the enormous plethora of journalistic incompetence produced by CNNi’s Fab Faux, cannot be overcome even by Superstars Christiane Amanpour, Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer. Bring back Ayman Mohyeldin!

I am digging the work of Don Lemon in Ferguson so all is not lost, but my personal highlight during this live coverage so far has been Stephanie Elam eating Jake Tapper’s lunch on the first night of riots. About time someone gave that Tapper the tap. How he secured some 400,000 followers on Twitter is beyond me, but someone tells me you can buy Twitter followers in the Philippines….what a putz.

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