How I learned how surprisingly easy it is to hate people

I’ve never voted before — ever! I never thought I would vote; I’m just not the voting kind. Usually I take one look at the candidates and conclude that the very fact they are vying for office should of itself preclude them from power. I mean, let’s face it, most of the people in power are not people you would want to share an intimate drink with. They’re greedy, they’re bigoted, and often they’re so ignorant they don’t even know where on a map are the places they plan to bomb.

Then came the Brexit vote. Should Britain stay in the European Union? It was a no-brainer — duh — of course it should. Leaving the EU would be like turkeys voting not just for Christmas, but turkeys voting for Christmas because they were afraid that the chickens were ruling the roost. I got scared when I realised just how many turkeys had polling cards, so I voted.

I woke up to find that the impossible had happened. A bunch of 12th century thinkers, many of who will be dead by the time the catastrophic outcome of their decision really starts to bite, voted for Britain to leave the EU. Ever since I have looked at these people, listened to them, watched their lies unravel, listened to them again, tried to understand their point of view, and drawn a frightening conclusion. I hate them. I hate them all!

I want people who voted for Brexit to know that I hate them. If any of them were my friends before, they are not my friends now. They have betrayed me and my family and the country that I love to such an extent that even their deaths would not move me. I hate these people with a depth they would be very foolish to underestimate.

What I hate most about the Brexiters is their naïve assumption that now that it’s over we can all be friends. No we bloody can’t! People like me will make sure that people like them are reminded every nasty, little, grinding step of the way that a 52% majority represents nothing but a division of opinion. Moreover, they have inflicted so much suffering for no good reason that anyone who wants to heal the division is also my enemy, and they too can get lost. I’m in no mood to compromise with apologists for a bunch of narrow-minded bigots and racists who cannot muster a combined double-figure IQ per family group.

Great Britain is now Little England and I hate all Little Englanders. I think it’s only fair that from this day on they know that.

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