An Open Letter to Ariel Yavuncu, a Female Fitness Influencer Who Called her Physique “Manly”
Ariel,
Being a woman in fitness is hard, and not just physically. As a female fitness influencer nearing 500k followers on TikTok and over 200k followers on Instagram, I can only imagine the pressure you feel from other peoples’ opinions. Women already experience so much scrutiny over their physical appearance, and your physical performance being the platform that you have received notoriety for, especially with such a controversial body (a woman with biceps!), puts you in the spotlight for strangers’ unsolicited opinions. Within this letter, the last thing I want to do is be another negative comment in your comment section. Everyone has the right to look and live how they want. As a viewer of your page and fellow female in fitness, here is how you (as an influencer) influenced me.
I’ve always been a pretty athletic girl and as I made my way into adulthood I struggled with society’s expectations for how I was supposed to turn out. As much as I loved being strong, around the age of 17 I gave up dumbbells and instead chose cardio in order to “slim down”. My sister’s comments that my arms looked like her boyfriend’s and beratement from friends over my boyish choice of fashion finally got to me. Soon enough I found myself as the small “girly” size that I dreamed of and was finally catching the attention of men, with the small sacrifice of my grades (I was suffering from brain fog, a common effect of eating disorders). I truly believed that I was happier like this and that it was of my own preference. I believe that you, also, are under the impression that your feelings towards your own body of your own preference, and not influenced by societal pressures. Well, Ariel, you and I fell into the same trap.
I’m happy to say that today my arms are not like my sister’s boyfriends, but are actually bigger now. It has taken me years to overcome the pressure of our society’s beauty standards trying to force women into smaller sizes and accept my body as I like it. When I found your account, it was an inspiration to see another woman not afraid of broad shoulders and bulging biceps. Seeing female fitness influencers embrace their strength and femininity all in one helped me to realize that they are not mutually exclusive.
When you posted on your page that you are now in the process of shrinking your arms to a size that makes you feel more comfortable, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. You were adamant about the freedom women have to look how we want, and whether that is bigger or smaller shouldn’t be anyone else’s concern. I agree, and this letter is not a rebuke on your decision about your body. But with your platform that has the ability to influence thousands of people, I believe it is dangerously naive to leave out the reality that beauty standards and societal expectations have nothing to do with this.
In some of your videos you encouraged your viewers to ignore the “narratives” that push physical expectations onto women. As someone who has been on both sides of the beauty standard in regards to size, I can affirm that it is much easier to “ignore” the narrative when you are already aligned to it. As you gave your reasoning for why you “fell out of love” with lifting, you mentioned that you wanted to feel more comfortable in your body, and with a muscular upper body you don’t feel this way. I can often relate, but it is essential to acknowledge where this sense of uncomfortableness stems from. Is it normal to one day give up something that you previously loved, just because you don’t like how it looks anymore? What I think you are ignoring is the enormous pressure for women to look smaller. You are right, it does feel uncomfortable to be a woman with a bigger upper body, and this is because for our whole lives everyone has told us that we as women shouldn’t look this way.
Words like “manly” and “bulky” that you used to describe your body are more hurtful than I assume you realize. As I watch an influencer who inspired me to gain muscle and maintain my sense of femininity call her body “manly”, it feels like a set back. The truth is, muscle is not manly. The more that this narrative that broad shoulders and strong arms belong to men is spread on the internet, the more girls will look down at their natural bodies and believe that there is something unfeminine about being strong. This narrative cannot be ignored when it is so prevalent and by ignoring it there are real repercussions on women. Being an influencer comes with the burden that what you say and do will actually influence people. You cannot dismiss the narrative of women’s beauty expectations and how it affects people just because it doesn’t affect YOU as much. Perpetuating the idea that a woman’s body is only womanly if it doesn’t invade the traits that men have claimed as manly keeps womens’ fitness confined to a corner of the gym.
The body positivity movement has permitted women to be bigger to the point that is still considered feminine. Plus size women must be “curvy” and strong women must be “toned”. I have been told enough in my life that I look too “manly” and I refuse to submit to that anymore. I’m sure you’ve heard it enough as well, and encourage you to realize that with every negative comment in your comment section, there are ten more girls who look up to you as an inspiration. I completely sympathize with you, Ariel, when you wear a dress and look into a mirror just to see something too bulky and brutish looking back. I urge you to look further than this though. How can a woman, doing something that she loves and developing her own body, result in anything other than a body that is womanly?
Each person has a right to their own journey pertaining to their body, but keep in mind that as an influencer, your words make impacts. Strong women are not manly, and muscular arms are not bulky, they just simply exist. If you feel uncomfortable in a body that developed while doing something you love, maybe think about why you feel uncomfortable, and how not acknowledging that will push that same narrative forward onto your followers.
Sincerely,
Abby DelliGatti
University of Southern California
USC RecSports Fitness Instructor
