Weekend Reading: Charlie Stross: 21st Century: A Complaint
Charlie Stross: 21st Century: A Complaint:
I want to complain to the studio execs who commissioned the current season of ‘21st century’; your show is broken.
I say this as a viewer coming in with low expectations. Its predecessor ‘20th century’ plumbed the depths of inconsistency with the frankly silly story arc for World War II. It compounded it by leaving tons of loose plot threads dangling until the very last minute, then tidied them all up in a blinding hurry in that bizarre 1989–92 episode just in time for the big Y2K denouement (which then fizzled). But the new series reboot is simply ridiculous! It takes internal inconsistency to a new low, never before seen in the business: the ‘21st century’ show is just plain implausible.
The series got off to a flying start with the epic wide-screen disaster story ‘9/11’, guest-scripted by Tom Clancy, in which a steely-eyed two-fisted Republican president is confronted by a crisis; but to have him respond by reading a talking goats story book to pre-teens and then invading the wrong country is just a little bit bathetic, don’t you think? The lead scriptwriter was either taking the piss or he just didn’t care.
And then the story line drove into a ditch.
First we’re fighting a shadowy James Bond terror organization called Al Qaida, the next minute we’re propping them up while yelling at the Russians for bombing them! That’s the Russians who were supposed to have suddenly become our best buddies in 1992 and joined the good guys team, at the end of the last season. But look, that whole BFFs twist has been retconned out of the show and they brought in a new Bond villain — a former KGB agent turned president of Russia, how cheesy is that? — who rides bare-backed across rivers while dropping oligarchs in piranha tanks and threatening to de-fund the International Space Station in order to burnish his villain credentials. Meanwhile there’s another villain on screen, a South African dude who’s trying to colonize Mars, while building electric cars. Why hasn’t 007 assassinated him yet?
Oh, and speaking of villains: there’s this American guy, he defects to Russia (despite the role reversal) and blows the gaff on a gigantic international conspiracy called the Five Eyes who are spying on literally everyone — including you, personally, yes, they’re tapping everyone’s phones and reading all the email and browser histories in the world, and their boss sends invisible flying killer robots after people his targeting committee disapproves of — their logo is even a giant globe-hugging evil octopus — only it turns out nobody gives a shit. Talk about dropping the ball!
There were a couple of good disaster movies buried in the mess as sub-plots. The Boxing Day Tsunami in the Indian Ocean was an excellent tear-jerker. And the Great Tohoku Earthquake started promisingly — but wasn’t it a bit excessive to throw in three nuclear melt-downs? Why not stick to two and throw in a Kaijū, just for variety? (Also, the bit where the reactor buildings exploded wasn’t a patch on 1988’s ‘Chernobyl’ episode.)
More consistency and continuity flaws: apparently China is now hyper-Capitalist, only nobody noticed the change and they’re still called Communists. There were revolutions against tyrants all over the Middle East in the first decade, the whole ‘Arab Spring’ sequence, but no, that’s been airbrushed out and they’re all dictatorships again except for Syria, which is this story arc’s Bad Place where horrible things happen. (Although they’ve still got a dictator because plot, I guess.) The global economy crashes a couple of times and goes into a period of hyperinflation as all the central banks run the printing presses until they smoke, but the money ends up in bank vaults and nobody’s too worried. Oh, and the whole ‘running out of oil’ thing? You forgot to deal with that, too.
Even the technology background makes no sense. Apple, ferchrissakes, have toppled Microsoft and IBM and dominate the computer business! Volkswagen are apparently building self-propelled gas chambers, and airliners are getting slower! What the hell is going on? And whose idea was it to hire the ghosts of Philip K. Dick and George Orwell as showrunners anyway? Frankly, even Doctor Who makes more sense at a story level than this so-called future we’re expected to believe in.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that this viewer, for one, is deeply disappointed with ‘21st century’ so far. And I’m betting I’m not the only one. I’m sure my readers can spot lots of other continuity flaws, or come up with better ideas for how this century should have proceeded!
Originally published at www.bradford-delong.com.