I loved this definition of honor. Observing how the people in your life, and especially someone you are dating, treat others who are not in a position to help them “get ahead” is so telling. “Sunshine upwards, sh*t downwards” is a recipe for someone who won’t hesitate to leave you behind when the going gets tough. I have worked with people like this. I suffered through manipulative friendships like this in school. I dated people like this.

I dated someone after college who was a gentleman while we began dating, but always made me cringe at the way he treated wait staff at restaurants, bars or other people in traffic. 6 months later, when I came down with a long term benign, but short term tiring autoimmune issue in my mid-20s, he ran for the nearest exit. I was lucky that my own father demonstrated to me while raising me that honor is about how you conduct yourself when everything seems difficult, not when everything seems easy. So I had my heart broken, something we all go through, but I realized not too long after that I deserved something better. Now I am married to a wonderful man of honor who helps me raise our son and daughter by demonstrating what character means everyday, through good times and bad times.

Thank you for writing this for your daughter. As the first man in her life, all other men in her life will be measured against you and the patterns she observes while raising her. She is a lucky little girl to have you as a daddy.