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All* Of Your Bitcoin Questions Answered

*(Six) Part XI In The Series — FAQs About The Future

Biggety, biggety, bitcoin

What is bitcoin?

According to the dictionary definition bitcoin is a type of digital currency in which encryption techniques are used to regulate the generation of units of currency and verify the transfer of funds, operating independently of a central bank. According to me bitcoin is stupid.

Who accepts bitcoin as payment for services rendered?

Mostly idiots, and tech people, and some porn sites, gambling sites, mobsters, drug dealers, and assorted na’er do wells.

How does bitcoin work?

It’s complicated, God’s is it ever complicated, and boring, so fucking boring, also stupid.

Seriously, how does it work?

Read the abstract from the original Nakamoto paper

But you know I can’t read dad?

Geezus Christie son, you are such a freakin idiot. Let me read it out loud for you.

“A purely peer-to-peer version of electronic cash would allow online payments to be sent directly from one party to another without going through a financial institution. Digital signatures provide part of the solution, but the main benefits are lost if a trusted third party is still required to prevent double-spending. We propose a solution to the double-spending problem using a peer-to-peer network. The network timestamps transactions by hashing them into an ongoing chain of hash-based proof-of-work, forming a record that cannot be changed without redoing the proof-of-work. The longest chain not only serves as proof of the sequence of events witnessed, but proof that it came from the largest pool of CPU power. As long as a majority of CPU power is controlled by nodes that are not cooperating to attack the network, they’ll generate the longest chain and outpace attackers. The network itself requires minimal structure. Messages are broadcast on a best effort basis, and nodes can leave and rejoin the network at will, accepting the longest proof-of-work chain as proof of what happened while they were gone.”

zzzzz.zzzzz…zzzzz.snore.snore..what…whosit..where the fuck am I?

Pops, wake up, wake up! Are you OK?

What in the heavens to betsys happened? I remember saying the words abstract and Nakamoto then everything just went dark.

You fell asleep, or passed out, or something.

It was something alright, something fucking stupid, it was bitcoin. So dumb.

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