Alphabet Soup Featuring the Letters W, H, and A

A Hybrid Poem Short Fiction Tale

What Would Wanda Wear? Harry Hates Helmets & Amy Ate All Ashley’s Apples.

W

Where would Wesley work? 
Would Wesley work with William? 
Would Wesley work with Wanda? Would William work with Wanda? Would Wanda whack Wesley’s wang while William watched? Who would whack William’s wang? Would Wesley? Would Wanda? Without Wanda whacking wangs, William, Wesley, would waste wads without warning.

Without Wesley working; William, Wanda, would wear wigs.
Wigs? William? Wanda? 
Wigs would win William weed.
What?
Win William weed.
When William won weed, Where William Went?
William went west with weed. 
Went where wigs work. 
Wow!
Wigs work?
What?
Who would wear wigs when working?
William would.
Without, within, whenever, wherever wigs William would wear. 
Wonderful.
Wanda wore wigs.
Wore wigs with William when working with women.
With women who would wear wigs when William was without worry.
Without worry William was wonderful.
Wanda was wonderful without worry when William was without wallet.
Without Wallet Wanda worked with women who would walk wrong ways when walking with workers.
Wow!
 
Damn that William sure likes his wigs. He has a wig fetish or something is what I heard. Freak.

H

Another quick question;
Had Harry had his heart hurt? Hell, He had? He had his hip hurt. 
He had hurt his hip helping his hippo hide.
Hippos! Hah!
How Harry hurt hip? He hurt his hand. 
His hand? He hurt his hand helping his hornfrog hop headfirst home
Heck, Harry hurts himself hourly. 
He hurts himself, however he has history. His history has him hating helmets. Hating helmets? Huh?
Harry hates helmets. He hates helmets, has hated helmets, hopes helmets hear his hate. 
Damn. I guess he fucking hates helmets. Another Weirdo like Wanda. Helmets are lifesavers, hope he hits his head. Would serve him right.

A

You hear what Amy did?
Amy ate all Ashley’s apples. Ate Ashley’s apples and also ate aluminum argots and American art.
Ate American art? Ate aluminum argots? Amy asshole. Amy act all asslike, all asanine, all Andyish.
Andyish?
Andy always ate Amy’s apples and acted asinine. Always. 
Acting asanine and apple accosting added Andy an area asshole award. 
Alright Andy! Award, Awesome. 
Andy alright. 
I’m not sure I understand. So Amy was an asshole for eating Ashley’s apples. 
All of a sudden Andy does the same damn thing, he gets a fucking award. 
Talk about double standards.

What’s an aluminum argot?
An argot is a language that is specific to a certain group. For instance pilots have a shared argot, and so do police and firefighters. 
Metalworkers do as well.
Oddly enough the men and women of the aluminum industry have a highly developed and extensive argot. 
Thus the term aluminum argot
Essentially meant to imply having a well developed shared language specific to a group, but not just any old shared language. That would just be an argot.
It is really a compliment.
So how could you eat that? Eat a compliment?
It is a figure of speech. A turn of phrase, an idiom, a maxim, a highly stylised representational form of a definition implying that one could (beat, overcome, destroy) their enemy by eating (destroying) their shared language. 
Basically an English majors put down fight taunt
On the playground little Johnnie from the local prep school points and laughs at Timmy from the other prep school. 
As he laughs he says. Timmy I could eat your aluminum argot anytime, anyplace, anywhere. So Timmy starts balling because he’s a big baby. 
I mean he is ten years old but still sleeps with a nightlight and sucks his thumb. Plus he wets the bed two or three times a month still.
His parents are taking him to the best doctors in town but the stupid psych doctor tries to tell them it’s normal behavior. 
Well Tim’s dad is not having that shit. If he acted like that when he was a kid his dad would have whupped him so hard with a belt he wouldn’t have been able to sit for weeks. 
And his dad did whup him, with a belt and a chain and worse. The emotional scars drove him to become the bitter, angry, alcoholic he is today.
Of course he beats Tim’s mom when he’s drunk.
Which is every night. 
Ironically this is the cause of Timmy’s bed wetting problem. 
Anyway, the eat aluminum argot crack made him cry like a baby. His dad caught him balling and put his lit cigarette out on the back of his head. 
This only caused Timmy to cry even harder. His dad was really angry now, and really drunk. It just wasn’t as fun beating on Timmy as it was beating on his wife. He broke three of her ribs that night.Poor Timmy, looks like he really does eat aluminum argot.

Brought to to you by our good friends at Alcoa — The aluminum company. When you think aluminum you think Alcoa, and foil, we know you definitely think of aluminum foil when you think aluminum, everybody does. That and soda/beer cans.

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