I just don’t know…..

Recently through some great writers on here (Jon and Jonas) I’ve done a shit ton of questioning of what I really am. What in the sense of professionally.

Now I identify as a ham sandwich and also a filmmaker. For this I’m writing from the filmmaker side. I’ve known since a young age I want to perform, with age perform has taken many turns and still has facets of its origin. At this point I’d truly say I want to be a filmmaker, I’d also like to use more actual film to enforce the title. I love creating the stories from start to finish. The doldrums of making a movie are doldrums and they always will be. But the character arcs and how to represent these visually is something I love figuring out and actually shooting. Story, gear and the management of the whole moving machine truly excites me. Gear especially, but who doesn’t love toys?

But there’s more to me, I had been deeply steeped in Gary Vaynerchuck’s works on YouTube and along with the writers I listed above “entrepreneur” beside being hard to spell quickly is also something that’s piqued my interest. I wrote recently about a DIY cinema camera I had tried to make into a kit for filmmakers to customize what they want out of their camera. I like the feeling of building things, I like the feeling of watching analytics as something catches on and goes viral. Seeing what flash in the pan works and what doesn’t. Seeing the great lengths of expression throughout Medium I’m probably going through another transformation as who I am as a creator. Its a journey I’m sharing in hopes someone else can stumble into these things that have taken my mind to new places and viewing the world from a new angle.

When I made this profile “writing jump man” came up in my head, wasn’t the first time. I had always been alittle ashamed of my ability to unclog writing blocks and story blocks when it came to friends and colleagues. Now I’m not talking about Dalton Trumbo wrote “Roman Holiday” and had to give it to his friend that wasn’t blacklisted kind of connection. Just in my small circle of creatives I have worked with and create with. They need help, I’m always ready. Its a weird feeling, but they lay out a story to me and I could write/see every which way they could take it. Can include whatever beats they want to it. I use this maneuverability in making deals too, the end goal is the only how I have to figure out, the who is easy for me since I’m pretty forthright about my min/max budget.

So to keep score I like to create content, I like running projects and I like making the deals to make those projects. But more. Thing is I don’t know if I’m filling up the term or rather lost on what it means to me, entrepreneur. Does artist encompass this too? Artipreneur? Being both is tricky business as far as I can tell. But my journey is not going to begin and end in one post.