THE RED JOURNAL
Journal Entry 11/23/1977
First time I ever heard that song I just had to stop and transcribe every word
Tonight I was reading through earlier entries here, (starting with January 1976 …) and suddenly I’m starting to see the way I’ve been about M. lately has been so selfish. So self-centered, and so self-concerned. It reminds me of L&B which is not good at all.
I guess half of the problem is people who tell me how much
///This song just came on the radio///
“You asked me if I love you
And I choked on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie.”
…
“And sometimes when we touch,
The honesty’s too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide.
I want to hold you till I die,
’Til we both break down and cry,
“I want to hold you ’til the fear in me subsides.”
— Dan Hill, from the song “Sometimes When We Touch”
he cares, and people who tell me how much I care. It’s just plain too easy to act like I’m in love with him around here. And it’s just all very silly when you get right down to it.
It helps me to know that B. is still on his mind. I hope he has a good time when he visits her in California.
But instead of worrying and wondering when I’ll get to see him, I should be hoping that he gets what’s best for him…
