A ‘like’ is not always a ‘like’

Deng Xiang
Aug 24, 2017 · 3 min read

The world of social messaging is as dangerous as a battlefield, where the ground is peppered with linguistic bombs about to set off in any moment.

Unlike standard English, there is no guidebook for the novices. All we have are whimsical thoughts as malleable as melted metal.

And we all have our pet peeves.

Let me tell you. I, for one, can’t stand it when people preface their chat responses with ‘erm’. It sounds daft and curt, more annoying than ‘er’ and ‘um’ because it tries to be both at once. This kind of portmanteau sucks like hell.

Then, there is the cold, judgmental finality of ‘I see’. ‘oic’ is even worse. It sounds curt.

Some of my friends hate people who chat in complete sentences. Others hate those who use too many abbreviations and hashtags (#). Yes, these opinions are highly subjective, and which is why I am writing this personal essay anyways.

Two years ago, a Binghamton University research team found that text messages ending in full stops were perceived as less sincere.

Psychology professor Celia Klin, who led the study, mooted that texting isn’t like a face-to-face conversation with eye gaze, facial expressions, tone of voice and so on. So texters rely on an array of emoticons and punctuation to make up for the lack of human touch.

And, I don’t know if you notice, your friends would obsess over the sparse details of a text message, dissecting it like how a literature student dissects an “unseen” text for nuance, gesture and tone. You know, sometimes they assume you are mocking them when you are actually not.

Context matters.

Some sentences ending with full stops (“I’m eating.”) may sound passive-aggressive. But, come on. Full stops are necessary pauses, like deep breaths between sips of hot coffee.

Many words can be perfectly understood only by one’s community who get all the references.

Do you know what is “wkwkwk”? Willy Wonka? Wrong. It is an Indonesian laugh. Instead using “hahaha”, Indonesians use “wkwkwk”. You would often encounter this phenomenon in online multiplayer games. Play MMORPGs with SEA servers. You’ll see.

A word like “LOL” is versatile. In its 28-year history, it has been used in all sorts of situations — from literally “laughing out loud” to “I’m pretending to be amused so you won’t feel alienated”.

And there are some people, such as former British prime minister David Cameron, who have mistaken it for “lots of love”.

I use it to say that I’m a bit amused, the way you giggle or nod along when a friend makes a bad joke. But like “haha”, there are times when you say it because you don’t know what to reply.

It’s not surprising when friends spend more time than they should on “lol”s and “haha”s.

Trying to be affable, they might start their sentences in lower case (sans autocorrect) and leave them hanging without full stops. Crafting a message with the right serving of casualness and charm is an art.

Particularly on Facebook, the question of sincerity becomes particularly fraught.

There is something schizophrenic about the way people use Facebook. They may click on buttons because of what they “do”, rather than what they “say”.

A “like” isn’t always a “like”.

Its uses can range from fawning over a guy to even stalking him. Someone once confessed that she “liked” my posts only so the algorithm could ensure they continued to show up on her newsfeed.

Words evolved so fast. It has become nigh impossible to say what we mean and mean what we say. Social media demands from its most active users a suspension of sincerity.

Will there be a time when we can say just what we mean in words?

Perhaps not.

The tongue-tied WhatsApp user may continue to find some release in aubergines, monkeys, moon faces and pears.

)