Why money can’t buy happiness?

Disclaimer: I’m not a 45 year old who realised he can never get rich.

The reason lies in the very definition of happiness.

I always associated happiness with objects or experiences; like having a comfortable house, going to nice restaurants, owning new technological gadgets, you name it. As I felt happy when I had these, and as money can buy these, I thought money indirectly buys happiness. But I don’t think what I felt was happiness, they were merely temporary pleasures.

I believe happiness is a deep feeling of serenity, contentment, and fulfilment. It is feeling good in the default state of mind, like feeling good when you wake up to a day that you have no plans. It is wellbeing of the soul and the mind. It is a base for all other feelings to happen and fade away: anger, sadness, upset, joy, excitement; they are all feelings that come, stay for some time and go. What you are left is either happiness, or the feeling of discontent for no clear reason.

Everything that money can buy is temporary; they are either objects or experiences that gives pleasure for a specific amount of time, which is why it can’t buy happiness which I define as a deep feeling of fulfilment. New clothes, travelling, new car, a good restaurant: they are unsustainable sources of pleasure as they all have a short to mid life span; either for an evening, a week, or maybe a month? You get pleasure out of them, and then they end. Imagine eating the best tasting cheesecake ever made; first slice: amazing, second one: still good, third one: just ok, fourth one: you’d hate it (this is called hedonic adaptation). I don’t call any feeling that is bound to an object or person as happiness.

What creates the feeling of serenity and fulfilment? That’s a massive subject which I don’t have the definite answer, but I feel the most important factors are relationships (loving and being loved), engaging with life itself (activities), and contributions to local and greater community (a daily job that you love). All these can be done by taking action, which is exactly why happiness is a choice. Time changes nothing, only actions do.

You can only buy temporary, unsustainable pleasures that come and go on top of that deep feeling of fulfilment and contentment — or the lack of it.