Forgive and Let Go…now that’s a challenge

Forgive and let go…

Forgive and let go…

Forgive and let go…

Kind of like Dorothy clicking her heels three times and wishing to be back in Kansas, maybe saying this three times will make it happen?

In Gandhi’s 10 rules for change this is #3 (check out previous posts for #1 & #2). I have a feeling these are going to get even more challenging as we go along.

This one is tough for me. Sometimes I think I have forgiven, but I haven’t let go. Then there are other times when I know I have not done either one.

Yesterday morning was a timely example. I was out for a walk and was thinking about something that has bothered me for a few years now. It wasn’t something done directly to me, but it has troubled me and I haven’t let go. Recently, something else along the same vein popped up and all those familiar feelings of anger and disgust washed over me.

As I walked along feeling my Irish ire start to perk up, I took a deep breath, slowly exhaled, and asked myself, “Why are you still letting this bother you?”

My eloquent answer, “I don’t really know.”

I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled again. “How is this affecting you?”

Thinking a little harder and breathing deeply before answering, “It’s making me feel anxious and upset.”

“Is it affecting the other person?”

“The other person probably has no idea that I’m even upset about this.”

“Then let it go.”

And, as I finished my walk, I found myself at peace, because I did just that. Even though the other person has no idea to this day how frustrated I’ve periodically been, in my heart I let all be forgiven and I let go.

This inner dialogue worked wonders for me, but I believe you have to be in the right frame of mind in order for the forgiveness and letting go to be real. If you don’t feel it, it’s just lip service. In this situation, I’ve told myself numerous times to just forgive and forget, but it was more like a shallow pep talk and didn’t work.

I get it now.

The deep inhale was the forgiveness and the exhale was letting it go.

This is where real change starts to happen.

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