Writing a letter to money
Start improving your relationship
Seven years ago I read the book, You are a Badass at Making Money, by Jen Sincero. One of her suggestions was writing a letter to money to get a better feel for what someone’s relationship with it is like and how to change the negative beliefs, thoughts, and feelings we have toward it.
Because this was definitely out of my comfort zone, I thought if I wrote my letter it would help me better understand how I view money and that I would uncover better ways of handling it. This is what I wrote back then:
Dear Money,
I don’t know where to start with you. You’ve basically been a thorn in my side my entire life, and even though I would love to blame you for that I can’t. The way I’ve treated you has been my fault. I haven’t taken care of you the way I should have and now I’m paying for it. I suppose what I feel is embarrassment. As a seasoned adult, I still don’t feel as if I do a very good job with you.
I’ve allowed you to build up debt and have not done a very good job of paying it off so that I can have a fresh start with you. I’ve done the minimum payments and haven’t made a dent. I get frustrated and down and so I spend more of you to try to make myself feel better. All I end up with is more regret and frustration.
I think what it boils down to is that I don’t think I deserve you, and I look at you in negatively instead of in a positive way. I’m working on changing that. I started a countdown to freedom which will be May 2018. In just over a year, I will be free from a huge loan, paying my mom back, and my credit card will be paid off. I know that any type of debt is not good debt, but the rest is manageable in the big picture.
I am grateful for the money I do earn and I see myself with even more earning potential, but I need to start with baby steps and this is a good beginning. Thanks for listening, Money. I look forward to changing my relationship with you!
Sincerely,
Christine
Where am I now?
My relationship with money still ebbs and flows. I was able to pay off the loan, my mom, and credit card by the deadline I gave myself. That felt really good.
One big challenge is that my love language is gift giving. I love to see a person’s face light up when I get them something I spent time and energy picking out. I enjoy picking up the tab when going out for a meal or randomly paying for a stranger’s coffee behind me in the drive-thru. Gift giving brings me joy.
However, I struggle to put the breaks on when I should. After the holidays this year, I reflected on my spending and made some decisions heading into 2024. You can read that piece here.
As a result of that decision, I’m going to continue writing about money and my 2024 experiment with it each month.
And, I finally started investing. It’s nothing huge but it’s a start. I put money in a CD and I opened a Roth IRA. I’m still working through paying off a parent loan I took out for our kids’ post-high school education. I should have been holding money back each month during the pandemic when I didn’t have to pay anything but I didn’t.
I’m definitely still a work in progress when it comes to my relationship with money, but I’m excited to see what happens in 2024.
Christine Denker is a writer, podcaster, adventure seeker, and educator. She writes personal development pieces on physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual health. Check out her podcast Let the Adventure Begin with Chris Denker wherever you listen to podcasts. Drop in for a listen, stay for the delight that is her.
