Thank you for the book suggestion.
Gail Boenning
71

I am happy for your dad, too! Mine never dated again after he and my stepmother divorced. They were a terrible mismatch. Obviously, he married her to get a mother for his three daughters. He had a strong narcissistic personality. Only a very traditional woman (traditional for that time) would mesh well with him. My mother was, my stepmother definitely was not. It was best that he decided to live life alone and not impose his difficult personality on another wife. Unfortunately, we girls could not avoid it. My two older sisters left home right after high school graduation; I left at 16 to live with my stepmother and half-sister. My eldest sister did not speak to my father for decades, and when the communication resumed, it was infrequent. She was not involved in his life in any way. The sister seven years old than me always kept in contact with him, helped him financially a few times, but he was so uninterested, critical, and uncaring about her children that she ended up like the older sister just having occasional contact, and that was only out of a feeling of responsibility, not love. I spent most of my life hoping he would be the dad I wanted and needed, always helping him, always a target for his criticism and hatefulness, sacrificing a lot for him. At 47, I finally walked away. He was living on property I owned, and he remained there until his death six years later, but there was no contact between us. He abandoned what few friends he ever had (and I mean few) because they were not good enough for him. Oddly, but not odd for a narcissist, he only had relationships with those he considered his inferiors and then he belittled them for being inferior. He died alone. Was dead several days before he was found. Heartbreaking, but it was the life he chose in the end. He chased away everyone. It was not until I walked away at 47 that I started living my true life.

Does your dad live independently?

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