An alternative for the family
The divide between men and women are growing stronger every day throughout the world. In America, women are choosing to stay single and not have families because their economic situations are not great for doing so. In South Korea, birth rates are so low because women are so tired and frustrated with men there. Women are steadily going to the left politically while men are going far to the right astronomically [2].
A big part of the problem is that there is very little resources for women to operate with and the burden is often solely on them. Burden such as taking care of the family while the man just doddles off doing whatever else. Hell for many women, it’s like a second shift. Both men and women are working, and women are expected to do a lot of the work, because that’s what you do. Or that’s how it’s supposed to be done. Of course, why would any woman tolerate this sort of arrangement and you know what? That is women are doing.
Women are getting quite frustrated with men because they have a significant burden on them that they don’t want anymore. There are stories of women leaving men and having a lot more energy because of that because women are taking care of man-baby. While the men are struggling because they don’t know how to take care of themselves. What do men in response? Well, not in very healthy ways.
During the rise of FOX news, Rupert Murdoch said that his network is for 55-year-old white guys who do nothing but sit on the couch with the remote and watch TV. His model became a huge success which has, and still is pulling a lot of men to the right. YouTube has quite observingly had a very similar effect on young millennial men as a lot of them are guys who do nothing but watch videos on the internet all day. And with that, they discover guys like Andrew Tate or Jordan Peterson who tell them that women are basically things to dominate, and that hierarchy is natural like among lobsters. All these things resonate quite well with many historical trends.
Men are basically told their whole lives that if you are not in control of everything, then you are simply not a man. They are expected to be dominant and sexually promiscuous. It is seen in the media and what they are taught in the household by their parents. When you are taught these things, it tends to breed entitlement which is taught to men their entire lives. If men are failing at their traditional duties, they tend to take it out on their families or other persons be it immigrants or brown people.
Women used to just take these things because that is what was expected of them. Women were supposed be emotional outlets for children and take care of the household. As mentioned before, it gets very tiring. Some women have internalized patriarchic norms and sometimes will even go for something like trad life which is based solely on advertising. With the rise of the #MeToo movement, it has resulted in women realizing that they don’t have to just be dick-sleeves, they can focus on their education and careers. Millennial and Zoomer women are basically rejecting the traditional norms of womanhood and toxic femineity.
Now that women don’t want to be used and abused anymore, men don’t have any outlet. We try to get men to understand that it is not women who is the problem of their material issues, that it is capitalism. Capital is depriving men of their abilities to have families and provide for them. This hasn’t however, stopped men from being a bunch of dull, miserable curmudgeons who have so deeply internalized the logic of the system. We live in a culture that has historically catered to and coddled men to the point where anything inconvenient to them is shouted down by unironic betas (more on this later). Its little wonder why a lot of women have given up and trying to convince men to abandon these toxic masculine norms and anti-social behaviors.
Movements like the 4B movement in South Korea have arisen as a response to these miserable men problems. They say that women should be independent and no sex, child-rearing, dating, or marrying men because these institutions and acts have reflected patriarchy While I say that it is good for women to be strong and independent, neglecting men and writing all of them off is bad. B4 is basically a MGTOW movement but for women. Misandry is not a viable strategy which I kid you not, was used in trying to combat misogyny.
In America, misogyny was a major problem throughout its existence. The founding fathers were very anti-women and laughed at the idea that women should be given equal treatment. Whenever a movement shows up to give women equality, it is always met with fear that men’s social status will be replaced. But isn’t the purpose of capitalism supposed to be that everyone deserves a chance? Well, that’s a big part of the problem.
While all people are basically equal in terms of political rights, they really aren’t in terms of systemic equality. Women are very often subject to outliers such as birth-giving and usually suffer the consequences of it such as the physical effects that such an act carries over and even the money issues. Women are still only making around 83 cents for every dollar a man makes. Capitalism as a system, only rewards what you get in exchange-value (the cost of a commodity) rather than use-value (the use of a commodity) and as such, women are not paid for their work in child-rearing which is very important to the economic machine. Also, capitalism makes the drive for people to be unequal and rewards misogynistic laws that make it so men can have a leg up in the competition. Many men feared that they would be replaced by women when they first got equality.
Whether or not liberalism was truly responsible for liberating women is highly debatable because it was always leftists who were on the front lines for liberation. Liberals as mentioned before, were often complicit in patriarchal institutions that made women objects to be dominated. That isn’t to say that this hasn’t changed, but many liberals will make lukewarm suggestions like more women as CEOs will fix the problem of economic patriarchy. While this is an advancement, this doesn’t solve the problem of say consumerism or systemic misogyny which often goes in contradiction with feminist values.
We need much more for women’s issues than just mere promotions. Not just even expanded programs which yes, I am proposing here.
Alternative institutions
When we look around society, something we notice is that there is practically no support for families and especially women who have them. The old idea that we as people need to just pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and be frugal, is a laughable idea nowadays and based on archaic institutions that were based on infinite expansion. Women are often subject to certain norms such as taking care of children and often bear the brunt of crisis such as COVID which showed that women often had to take on duties such as childrearing. Not only norms, but women in general are less likely to have savings because they are more likely to work in certain under class jobs.
There are alternatives to the current status quo that I think many are not really considering or are not given as much prudence.
Child-care cooperatives
Child-care cooperatives are cooperatives which specifically care for children that are either lead by the parents, workers who work them, or both. There are also employer-assisted cooperatives which are owned by certain employers to assist in childcare as part of an employment package. I will talk a little bit about each of these.
A parent cooperative is one where the parents will get together and form a sort of nanny-sharing, babysitting cooperative where parents can be flexible with one another and help babysit on moment’s notice if need be. A lot of times they are volunteer parents but also there are paid staff which work closely with the executive director. Neighborhoods often used to be full of these sorts of things, but it has declined because many one-income household parents have gone to work and don’t have time to volunteer. While this is good, it’s not enough because volunteer work doesn’t do enough to really dig into the problem.
A worker cooperative is a cooperative which is owned and operated by the workers who work said means of production, in this case, the daycares are owned and operated by the workers. What the children will do all day, and how expenses are managed, is all democratically decided by the daycare providers. Available data already suggests that worker cooperatives are more robust, more resilient to price shock, more likely to survive the first three years than your traditional capitalist counterparts. Also, workers tend to be happier and more productive and, in some cases, better paid as well [3]. There are already examples of worker cooperatives in childcare which have proven to be a miraculous success like the Beyond Care Childcare Cooperative which I will link the website here:
Home | Beyond Care Coop — Child Care Services with Caring, Engaging, Educating [4]
Imagine that you as a parent, want to teach your children the values of cooperation, solidarity, mutual aid, and hard work. The experiences that your child is exposed to are very important to the development of their well-being and thought process. Of course, you will likely need daycare while you are at work and can’t be in control of everything your child is exposed to. You want the daycare to be nurturing and fun. The kind of daycare workers you want to watch your child is very important. What kind of workers do you think care more about their work? Those that are under the thumb of uncaring administrators who are only in it for profit. Or one where the workers have a meaningful say and stake in the work that they have. I used to go to an old New Horizon childcare center and me and my sister both hated it. The workers were dull, miserable people who clearly just showed up to do their jobs. If the workers have a meaningful say in the work process, you will be able to communicate much better with the ones who watch over your little ones because they are likely to have children themselves.
In fact, if you’re interested in becoming a parent and in childcare, I highly recommend you found a worker cooperative. There are plenty of resources to help you with that and we should work on expanding these resources. According to the Youtube video in the space above, many parents learned lots of parenting ideas from the experience that they wished they had done.
Free childcare
All of this sounds awesome right? Well often times we can’t afford childcare. Childcare is often a middle class thing because they can afford it. Well, where is the middle class now? They’re gone. I would also digress to say that there are only two classes, the employer (also known as a capitalist who owns said means of production) and employees. It’s a feel good position that simply retitles someone who doesn’t want to feel like they are exploited.
So what do we do now? I would say increase taxes but we don’t have much money and all the rich do. So what we do is tax the rich to expand childcare to all parents who wish to do so. Childcare should be made free for all to use and we should fund those childcare worker cooperatives I mentioned here. If we do so, it will make it so that children won’t be alone all day like my wife was when she was a kid. My mother in law who recently passed away, was a single mom who could barely afford rent and feed her daughters. It goes without saying that she couldn’t afford childcare and my wife and sister in law were alone a lot. It will also give a chance for children to grow and develop social skills and have a safe environment when parents are at work.
Not just funding free worker cooperatives, but also expanding school programs which offer free daycare for children. After New Horizon, I went to a school program where it was daycare which was provided by the school (I went to a suburban elementary school). It was awesome. I got to hang out with a lot of my friends and I was watched over by some student workers from a local high school. I got to play games and watch movies all the time. I think it should be expanded to all students who wish it.
Available studies already show that this would result in economic growth because children would not only have better social skills, but are less likely to get into delinquent behaviors [5] [6].
Free artificial wombs
Another big reason why many women choose not to have children is because it would really hurt their bodies in the process of pregnancy and birth-giving. This is a completely understandable reason. I have heard so many stories of women who have lost their abilities to hold urine effectively and even tear butts after giving birth. Their body image can feel like they are destroyed.
Artificial wombs can change the game and offer women a chance to be moms without the pains of childbirth. Many women are scared about their bodies being damaged. A lot of women can’t even conceive because of different reasons. Artificial wombs are up to date where they can be made available for everyone, but the scientists who make them have made significant progress in making them such. Not only this, but they should be made free for everyone to use.
In her magnum opus “The Dialectic of Sex”, Shulamith Firestone argued that gender inequality is often a result of birth giving and with artificial wombs it would; “free women from the tyranny of their reproductive biology.” Women’s reproductive health is identified as a source of oppression for women as they are often physically weaker than men as a result. Artificial wombs would liberate women of this sexual dynamic. That a socialist revolution would have to include the liberation of women from their reproductive duty [7]. I agree with this and best yet, it would be voluntary and offer much more positive freedom for not just women, but same-sex marriages that wish to conceive but can’t.
Not only should they be made more available, but also free of use. The process of childbirth can be incredibly expensive not just money wise, but on the body. This greatly expands the positive freedom of women to access and maintain their own freedom in terms of having a baby.
Detoxify Masculinity
This has always been an issue with me as a man. As a guy who likes his hamburgers and outdoor activities like hunting, I have noticed that also of men also have this need to dominate. Toxic masculinity is usually referred to as social guidelines in which traditional norms like toughness and sexism are adhered to and enforced by socialization. The need for giant trucks, eating an honestly unhealthy amount of meat. As a result, men will engage violent acts towards not only themselves by others like other men and women in particular.
Men are going quite hard to the right and a lot of it is because they are influenced by toxic masculinity and the entitlement it tends to produce. As mentioned earlier, men are taught to be independent and be on top of everything otherwise, you’re just not a man. If you’re taught your whole life that by working hard and saying the right things, you will get the girl. Women aren’t tolerating this behavior anymore because it degrades them. This causes men to want to direct their angry feelings elsewhere rather than themselves. We need to detoxify masculinity.
We need to fund initiatives which help deal with toxic masculinity. Teach men that it is okay to cry and you don’t need those huge ass trucks that a lot of men get. Also, women must be viewed as an equal partner rather than some piece of meat to be dominated. For too long, women have tolerated this abuse because it was thought of as being “it’s what a woman does”. Egalitarian relationships actually last longer and are more fulfilling. I told my wife, who herself is a radical feminist, that I want to establish this ourselves and she loved the idea.
Marriage therapy free for all
There are so many marriages that often don’t last because there is a disconnect between the husband and wife. Marriage therapy is often too expensive and there were many marriages which could have been saved due to maybe some trained mediator and professional who can help deal with these issues. Divorce can be quite traumatic for both parties involved and expensive as well. We should make marriage counseling available for everyone.
Marriage is a big part of our lives. Conflicts inevitably arise and as a result, it can damage marriages. Marriage therapy is a great way to get to the bottom of why marriage failings are happening. Financial reasons are common reason for divorce and marriage therapy can also figure out how to deal with them, and it would be made free!
Conclusion
While these solutions include radical changes, they will be good for all of us. We can do many of these things now within our current environment. We need to offer an alternative for women and men to reconcile their differences as well as give a better environment for children to be raised in. If revolution is necessary to do so, it shall be done.
Sources:
[1] women struggling with family and men — Search Images (bing.com)
[2] A new global gender divide is emerging (ft.com)
[3] Worker cooperative — Wikipedia
[4] Home | Beyond Care Coop — Child Care Services with Caring, Engaging, Educating
[5] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK225555/
[6] https://www.brookings.edu/articles/why-the-federal-government-should-subsidize-childcare-and-how-to-pay-for-it/
[7] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dialectic_of_Sex
[8]
