Twin Fantasy is my favourite album of the 2010s and one of my favourite albums of all time. It is one of the most moving works of art that I have ever consumed. I love it so much that I constantly annoy all of my friends by spamming lyrics from the album when texting.
Background
Twin Fantasy was originally released by Car Seat Headrest in 2011. At the time, Car Seat Headrest was just the artist name for singer, songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Will Toledo. Fun fact: Will chose that name because he used to record in his car, looking at the car seat headrest. Like his previous albums, Will produced Twin Fantasy himself. He didn’t have professional audio equipment, so the sound was very lo-fi. Many people adored the early CSH sound though. This album was hailed as his best and became an online cult classic.
Skipping ahead to September of 2015, Will signed a deal with Matador Records and Car Seat Headrest became a band. Some members have shifted around, but today CSH is composed of Will Toledo, Ethan Ives, Andrew Katz and Seth Dalby. After Will signed to Matador, he decided to re-record Twin Fantasy. He said that he now had the resources to fulfill the vision of what Twin Fantasy was meant to be. It was re-released in 2018 as Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) and the 2011 version was renamed Twin Fantasy (Mirror to Mirror). The CSH lineup that recorded Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) is the same as the current lineup (Will, Ethan, Andrew and Seth).
The songs stayed largely the same between Mirror to Mirror and Face to Face, but there are some noticeable differences that are very powerful, especially between the versions of the last two songs on each album. Twin Fantasy (Face to Face) has a more mature conclusion. I think the metaphors of “mirror to mirror” and “face to face” are perfect, and I’ll be going over why that is when I break down the conclusions of both albums.
Breakdown
Twin Fantasy contains a lot of beautiful poetic content that listeners can interpret in many ways. I will just be touching on the parts that moved me the most and give my interpretation of them. I’ll mostly be talking about the writing because I think the music is perfect. Every moment is a highlight musically, so you really just have to hear it for yourself. I implore you to listen to both albums after reading this article, giving them your undivided attention, and see what speaks to you. Mirror to Mirror is very lo-fi though, so it’s an acquired taste. If you can’t stand Mirror to Mirror just skip it for now and start with Face to Face.
On Twin Fantasy the narrator pours out his emotions as he guides us through the progression of a toxic relationship. Will has stated that the album is based on his own experience, so for simplicity I will just refer to the narrator as Will.
Both albums begin with “My Boy (Twin Fantasy)”. This song just introduces the fact that Will was in a long distance relationship and didn’t see his partner much. We understand immediately that Will and his partner are both lonely, and rely on each other for support.
My boy, we don’t see each other much
My boy, we don’t see each other much
It’ll take some time, but somewhere down the line
We won’t be alone
The second track is “Beach Life-In-Death” which is 12 minutes long on Mirror to Mirror and 13 minutes long on Face to Face. It’s full of beautiful lyrics (that I often quote). Will’s thoughts flow out in an unfiltered stream as he sings about his relationship and dealing with life in general. The following is a section that I really love.
I wrote “Beach Death” when I thought you were taken
I wrote “Beach Funeral” when I knew you were taken
I wrote “Beach Fagz” — well it wasn’t about you
But it could’ve been, well no it couldn’t have
I spent a week in Ocean City
And came back to find you were gone
I spent a week in Illinois
And came back to find you were still goneI pretended I was drunk when I came out to my friends
I never came out to my friends
We were all on Skype
And I laughed and changed the subject
She said, “what’s with this dog motif?”
I said, “do you have something against dogs?”
We don’t learn the meaning of the term “twin fantasy” until the final track. It’s super helpful to know, so here it is early. Will wanted to become one with his partner through love, represented by the impossible image of the connected anthropomorphic dogs on the album cover. This song already begins to reveal this desire. We can already tell that Will’s relationship is imperfect, and that he’s clinging onto a perfect fantasy that he’s created. Will talks about his depression and loneliness throughout the album, on this song he even says that his depression makes him inhuman.
I am almost completely soulless
I am incapable of being human
I am incapable of being inhuman
I am living uncontrollably
Hearing this, we sympathize with Will and it’s understandable that he hopes for love to save him from his sorrow.
Last night I dreamed he was trying to kill you
I woke up and I was trying to kill you
It’s been a year since we first met
I don’t know if we’re boyfriends yet
Do you have any crimes that
We can use to pass the time I am
Running out of drugs to try and I
The first two lines here show the unhealthy nature of the relationship. After hearing the first line, we expect Will to say something about how horrible of a nightmare that was; about how terrifying it would be for someone to kill his partner. Instead, we realize that Will himself is frustrated with his partner. The final three lines here show that Will’s partner is being a negative influence on him.
“Stop Smoking” is the next track. It’s a short one in which Will pleads to his partner to stop smoking. This reminds us of the line “I woke up and I was trying to kill you” from the previous song. Will is constantly trying to force his partner to change, by trying to get them to stop smoking and likely in other ways too, and his partner’s refusal to change is making him mad.
“Sober to Death” is the fourth song on the album. It’s a heartbreaking song about the difficulty of being in this long distance relationship. The brilliance of this song is captured by comparing the first chorus to the second.
[Chorus 1]
Take your hands off your neck and hold
On to the ghost of my body
You know that good lives make bad stories
You can text me
When punching mattresses gets old
Don’t think it’ll always be this way
Not comforted by anything I say
We were wrecks before we crashed into each other[Chorus 2]
Take my hands off your neck and hold
Onto the ghost of your body
I know that good lives make bad stories
You can text me
When punching mattresses gets old
What if it’ll always be this way
Not comforted by anything you say
We were wrecks before we crashed into each other
In the first chorus, the first two lines are comforting. Will is saying that even though they’re not in the same place, his ghost is there to comfort his partner when they feel depressed. In the second chorus, it changes from “take your hands off your neck” to “take my hands off your neck”, again showing that Will knows that their relationship is toxic but doesn’t care. This is further developed by comparing the last three lines of the choruses. “Don’t think it’ll always be this way, not comforted by anything I say” becomes “what if it’ll always be this way, not comforted by anything you say”.
Next up is “Nervous Young Inhumans”. This is a beautiful song, I won’t analyze this one much though. I’d mainly like to focus on the monologues at the end of each version.
In the Mirror to Mirror version, Will talks about the term “galvanism” that he learned from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein.
So I used the term “galvanistic” to allude to that book as a sort of a symbol of how I, like, created you as a character. I’m pretending that I know a lot more about you than I actually do, and also to refer to the fact that I’ve fall — fallen in love with the characters you’ve created in, uh, your body of work
This is the part of the song where I start to regret writing it
This again shows that Will desperately just wants to cling on to his fantasy. He doesn’t care about reality.
The monologue was changed in the Face to Face version because Will realized that “galvanistic” wasn’t actually a word and rewrote the song without using it. Here is an section of the Face to Face monologue.
Do you know about Jesus? Do you really know? All you know is what you’ve been told. Listen with your heart. Sing with your heart. You’ve just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls? Fuck… Why are you so tense? You’ve gotta start singing with love in your heart. Is this on?
This still achieves a similar effect because the line “You’ve just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls?” shows that Will may not understand love, but he can pretend that he does.
“Bodys” is the sixth track and one of my favourites of the album. It’s a beautiful love song out of context, but in the context of the album it’s devastatingly sad. When listening to “Bodys”, you become certain that Will is obsessed with the fantasy he’s created and cannot escape it.
Don’t you realize our bodies could fall apart at any second?
I am terrified your body could fall apart at any secondThose are you got some nice shoulders
I’d like to put my hands around them
I’d like to put my hands around themWe can get real horny
And keep messing around
We can keep real quiet
Won’t be making no sound
I’ll try my best
Not to touch your face
Next time can we
Please meet at my place?And I know that I don’t talk a lot
But I know that you don’t care a lot
As long as we move our bodies around a lot
We’ll forget that we forgot how to talk
Next is “Cute Thing”, which is another love song. The part that I’d like to highlight about this song is the first verse.
I got so fucking romantic
I apologize
Lemme light your cigarette
Come visit Kansas for a week of debauchery
Songs and high fives and weird sex
The first two lines show that Will’s partner isn’t as romantically invested in the relationship as he is. Furthermore, the last three lines show that their relationship may be built on a mostly physical connection rather than an emotional one. The middle line, “lemme light your cigarette”, is important because it shows that Will is no longer trying to stop his partner from smoking. He is actually encouraging them to smoke. This entire verse reveals that at this point, Will is so entranced by his fantasy that he’s willing give anything just to keep the relationship going. This idea is further developed in the next song, “High to Death”.
“High to Death” tells the story of a bad experience that Will had with marijuana.
I fell over
I fell onto the ground
I wish I was sober
I can’t get up off the groundWhen I closed my eyes
And I thought I was blind
It’s the middle of the night
And I’ll never be alright againAnd this wallpaper
Keeps going ‘round the room
Will begins by detailing how devastating this trip was for him, showing how dangerous drugs can be. Later in the same song, he goes on to say:
Keep smoking, I love you
Keep smoking, I love you
Keep smoking, I still love you
But I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
I don’t wanna die, I don’t wanna die
Like we saw on “Cute Thing”, Will no longer cares about changing his partner’s behaviour, he just wants the relationship to last. Will just talked about the dangers of drugs, and is still encouraging his partner to smoke. The last part where he says “I don’t wanna die” is saddening because it shows that Will knows that sacrificing everything for his fantasy is unhealthy and unsustainable. He doesn’t want to die, but can’t stop himself from acting irrationally. Here he is talking about both literal death — during this bad trip he thought that he was going to die — and figuratively dying by giving up his personality for the relationship.
The second last track on Mirror to Mirror is “Famous Prophets (Minds)” and on Face to Face it’s “Famous Prophets (Stars)”. The growth that can be seen by comparing “FP (Minds)” to “FP (Stars)” is incredible. On “FP (Minds)”, Will is mad that the relationship is over and even uses his partner’s last name in the song. This is the first and only time he reveals their name.
For three transgressions of Wurtz
And for four, I will not revoke the punishment
For three transgressions of Will
And for four, I will not revoke the punishment
When writing Mirror to Mirror, Will did not want to let go of his fantasy. On Stars, those lines are no longer present as Will has matured and can take a healthier look at the relationship. What we get in “FP (Stars)” but not in “FP (Minds)” are possibly my favourite lines of the whole album.
So descend into cliché
If the music has forsaken you
Roll the stone over the grave
I never liked that one anyways
Or stare into the face
Of whatever it is that’s facing you
And if the levee breaks
You’ll find out what it is that’s replacing youAnd when the mirror breaks
I wouldn’t miss it for the world
Call it blackstar, call it painstar
The same thing happens when you touch it
Did they tell you what happens when you touch it?
Did they tell you what happens when you touch it?
Did they tell you…
Did they tell me…What happened to you?
On Face to Face, the narrator is ok with the relationship ending and his fantasy being shattered. By singing “and when the mirror breaks, I wouldn’t miss it for the world”, Will acknowledges that the relationship was toxic, and that he only endured it because he was projecting his own fantasy onto it (looking into a mirror of his own desires). This is why I love the “mirror to mirror” and “face to face” metaphors so much. When Will originally wrote Twin Fantasy, he did not want to let go of the fantasy. Now looking back on the events in a healthier state of mind, Will acknowledges that he needed to let the fantasy go, he needed to let the mirror break. At the end of “Famous Prophets (Stars)”, we hear this biblical quote which perfectly encapsulates this idea.
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. At the end of my childhood, I put these ways behind me. For now, we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known
Finally, the albums close with “Those Boys (Twin Fantasy)”. Both are songs about the relationship ending and both parties moving on, but on Mirror to Mirror, the song ends with the following lines:
This is the part of the song where Will gives up. He dissociates himself from his own romance until it becomes just a fantasy. This is not something that could happen to him; this is something that takes place only in his mind. But he blinks now, and shakes himself awake. He has rejoined society. Come, dear children, call no more. He has only lyrics now
Face to Face closes with these lines instead:
This is the end of the song, and it is just a song. This is a version of me and you that can exist outside of everything else, and if it is just a fantasy, then anything can happen from here. The contract is up. The names have been changed. So pour one out, whoever you are. These are only lyrics now
The Face to Face version provides such a beautiful conclusion to the entire Twin Fantasy story. Will knows that it’s important not to dwell on this relationship. Both he and his partner have moved on, and this experience helped shape both of them. In fact, the subject of Twin Fantasy is Cate Wurtz who is friends with Will today and even drew the artwork for Car Seat Headrest’s latest record Making a Door Less Open.
Thank you!
If you made it to the end, thank you so much for reading! I hope you were moved by the beauty of this masterpiece, and again I implore you to go listen to both albums. Please let me know your thoughts on this album by responding to this article. Check out my other music reviews on Medium and RateYourMusic. Check out my own music on Youtube, Instagram, Spotify and Apple Music.
