To the Lazy Nigerian Youth: Just Swoosh It

Word of the Day: Lollygag: To spend time doing things that are not useful or serious: to fool around and waste time. Example: Stop lollygagging and get to work

Against popular practice, and contrary to everything I have read about hobby blogging, I would not be starting my first blog post with an introduction. I know you’re thinking: “he is probably one of those arrogant, defiant, nonconformist….” Guy discard that thought, I am not anywhere near all that big English you’re about to start speaking.

The only reason I refused to follow the trend is because of my dictionary. Strange right? Chill I will give you the full gist just now.

The Full Story
So, one warm Thursday afternoon, as a jobless Nigerian youth, I am sprawled on the sofa that was too short and too tired to carry my weight (honestly, I couldn’t care less). Since the beginning of the year my mind has been beating me up about being jobless. You see, I couldn’t help being angry at federal government, ASUU and Covid-19; but also, I couldn’t help being angry at myself because there must be something I can do, right?

Well, this debate is the beginning of my early mid-life crisis (story for another day)... today I just wanted to Netflix and chill (more like wallow). You see, being jobless means being broke, being broke means little or no data, little or no data means there you can’t afford to Netflix so you might need to settle for begging your cousin to on his Xender and share you some not so new movies.

Now, I am lying on my short and tired couch, phone in hand, earpiece plugged-in, movie playing… when they first used the word… “lollygag”… whoever wrote that movie was against me, because they decided to use the word like 3ce (I bet the second name of that movie would be Lollygag). Out of curiosity, I decided to look it up in my Merriam Webster. That’s when I realized that everybody was against me.

The Example used in the dictionary sounded like the lexicographer was the oyibo version of my Igbo Mum saying: “Bia, enyi m! Si ebe ahu binie jee guo akwukwo osisi!”

Translated: “Come, My Friend! Will you quickly get up from that place and go read your book?!”

Someday, we should talk about how in Nigeria, there is nothing remotely friendly about when an adult calls you “My Friend”

So How Does It Relate to Breaking the First Commandment
I wanted to start this writing thingie long before today, but I couldn’t quite START. I wasn’t knowledgeable enough, I didn’t exactly know what to write; what if nobody likes it, it’s a lot of work maybe I should focus on getting that 9-5 ….blah blah blah…….

So, when STARTING wasn’t happening Lollygagging did, and continued. Until my dictionary shouted me back to reality.

Now that I have finally decided to get to work, nothing, not even the first rule of blogging will stop me. So be ready to hear from me every week (at least till I get that 9-5).

As for the introduction; don’t worry you’ll love me when you get to know me.

PS: I have still not finished the book I downloaded on blogging, and I’m still not sure if y’all will like this…...but then f--- (oops! I was just about to use a word that sounds like a utensil and it’s not ‘spoon’) who cares… I am just going to SWOOSH IT.

(if you get the swoosh metaphor, drop a comment.. I’ll love to hear from you guys)

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