Your relationship with Money
Whether you have a lot of it or not, it is how you perceive it that really is important.
Now I’ve always had a fear-based 😱 relationship with money. When I didn’t have any or little of it (which has been 90% of my life) I was always preoccupied with either running out or feeling very anxious thinking, “What if we couldn’t pay the mortgage or car loan or utilities”. “What will happen when the nest egg is gone?”It was, and still is at times, very much a “lack” perception or outlook.
When I had money, I would have had sleepless nights worrying about it and what to do with it. I was terrified of it. It was like I had to keep it safe forever.
It’s all in the mindset
I was brought up, like many of us, believing that money didn’t grow on trees, and only greedy nasty people had money. “Money was for the rich and we must just be thankful that we have enough to survive”.
The irony was that we weren’t paupers as both my parents where working professionals, we had a nice home, were fed, clothed and educated. Our needs were met and more.
My parents were born in Ireland during the war (WW2) and grew up with rationing and shortages, Lack mentality. I was born and brought up in Zambia, and in the ’70s & 80’s and commodity shortages and empty supermarket shelves were the norm. Lack mentality.
So money was there but there was nothing to buy!! The local currency was nicknamed “Tissues”, as it wasn’t worth the paper you wiped your backside with. Not being derogatory but literally, it devalued so much it became almost worthless.
So when you have money, and nothing to spend it on, what next?
Hoard it? That’s what my parents did, as they were never affluent or materialistic, their “lack mentality” turned them into savers. When you become a compulsive saver, you tend not to spend or become very careful about what you spend it on.
Saving for a rainy day, buying forex, as the Zambian currency was non-negotiable outside of the country anyway. So even though there was money to save & purchase US$ & £’s, on the black market, there always seemed to be very little for anything else.
Our family friends were spending money like spendthrifts, nice cars, clothes, toys (all imported). We had the same old cars, had to buy clothes locally when you could get them.
I remember when my sisters were teenagers and they were going out to a party, women’s sandals where nowhere to be found, so my mum tied elastic bands between their middle toe and back around the heal, put in a flower and told them they where everlasting soles. Clever, as you couldn't even get as much as flip-flops then.
Looking back now it was a strange time, all night curfew parties, shortages, black market money, but we all got by and the main thing is we were generally happy with what we had at the time. Money or no money, commodities or not.
Things are now different in Zambia, you can get whatever you want but at a price. So the situation is reversed as now no one can afford nice things.
The long-term effect on me though was that I was growing up in that era and was going through my impressionable years so that “Lack” imprinted in my subconscious mind and became one of many of my core beliefs.
My Limiting Belief
My relationship with money has always been one of mistrust. Money and a lack of money bring no one any good. Though I have always been fortunate to always have had enough money to survive and get by, but only once did I have a surplus to splash out. This happened after we sold the family home and split the money 3 ways. I’d never had so much money in my life, the tax man took his share, I invested in treasury bonds and brought a camper van. The rest went towards paying for child care, which on our salaries combined would never have been affordable. So it had its use at the time.
Money is only a tool
That’s all it is, a means to an end. Money in itself is worthless, as it is just printed paper. We are the ones who put a value on it.
Money in itself is energy and like all energy, it can be manifested, if you raise your vibration and ask for it hard enough.
Have you ever had times when you needed (not wanted) money for something urgent, like a bill and didn’t know how you would get it, but you were desperate enough so your vibration and desire were high. Then hey presto it came about, either in actual money or an idea to make money came to you. If you need it badly enough, you will find a way and all obstacles tend to fall away.
It’s NOT about money, it’s in the mind and attitude.
Have you ever noticed, that people who have wealth, get more and those who don’t, don’t? It does seem unfair, but it’s not about fairness. Even people who inherited wealth and didn’t have to work for it, have known nothing else, so poverty is not a concept for them as they have never experienced poverty.
The same applies to people in dire poverty. When you see children in Africa, who have nothing, they seem to be happy with their life. That also is all they know, in fact, they probably don’t even know they are living in poverty as that is their reality.
If you feel that you can’t afford something, you won’t and even if you have the money, you will still be very reluctant to do so. Why is this then?
Realign your relationship with money.
You have to ask yourself this question “Who is the master and who is the servant”? Do you let money master you, or are you the master of money?
Most of us let money master us, and again this applies if you have it or not. Focusing on only having money when you don't and greed when you do, is not mastery of money, but the other way around.
If you want more money in your life or you want to feel good with money, you have to first become the master:
- Remember it is ONLY printed paper or a balance in your bank.
- Accept whatever money you have, it is yours, even your debt is yours. Take responsibility and don’t allow yourself to fall victim to money.
- Be grateful for what you have and ask yourself if you have enough to meet your needs, or wants.
- Money can be made, you have already made money throughout your life so why can’t you again?. Just remember that it will take time. The problem with this instant gratification society we live in, we want the money we want NOW. Waiting & saving just doesn’t seem to come into the equation.
- Don’t let yourself feel any less of a person for having too much, or too little money, everyone is born equal and we will all go, out the same way.
- Give what you can to those in need, especially your time, and you will find that will be repaid in kind.
- Read or listen to “How to” wealth to generate books/audiobooks.
- You are deserving, so take a leap of faith and go for it, as if it is for you, the money will be found and if not, what is the worst thing that can happen. (Unless you borrow from the Mob) You will be surprised at the outcome. Again, it is not about the money but your attitude.
To Sum up
Don’t fear money, it is only a means to an end, that is all as if you continue to fear it, you will push it away. If you want to attract it embrace it and tell yourself you deserve it. I can’t ever see myself as being a millionaire, but as long as I have enough money to get by, take care of my family and afford a summer vacation, I’ll be contented.
What do you think?
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Thanks for your time