To find a mentor, that suit our preference and goals, or want to mentored us in the first place is not an easy task. This recent article from Andrew Hwang about mentoring, describe the issue of finding a mentor.

Finding a mentor is like wandering through a labyrinth, looking for something you can only vaguely describe.

Finding a good mentor is a crucial thing for a young and aspiring professionals or human being in general, because mimicking our peers or older people are one of the earliest learning method that we have since we were born, it is probably have wired to us before we were born. So that’s why it’s never a surprise if one’s behavior is associated with those who live around that particular person, my story is not that unique.

Since I was a child I didn’t really understand how this mentor things work, or maybe until now, I haven’t really know how to do it, what to do with them, and how to find one.

But from what I’ve read so far its about spending time and thoughts with someone that was younger, inexperienced, and probably have less emotional stability than you, not to mention you also have to taught him/her the things that you are good at which is you have done for quite some times in your live. And, you also have to give it for free to them, wait a minute, did I read the right articles about mentorship, because from this traits it was quite similar with a saint. It sounds exhausting and quite a pain somehow.

But within all this confusion of finding and following someone as a mentor, I think I have find one that is my mentor all along, but the problem is he already passed away now, and more importantly I only realized that he was one of early mentor.

He was the younger brother of my father, he was living a simple life, but he was one the happiest person that I’ve ever known, what I mean is, by my young and immature standard he haven’t reach a happy life expectation that the mainstream media bombard me since I was a little boy, or maybe I don’t understand what happiness is all about.

But as we speak, he already gone, he passed away few years ago, and suddenly I have thousands of question that I have to ask to him, because beneath the surface of his simple life, I firmly believe he already find an answer for one of the most complex problem in human life, which is to enjoy your life in any circumstances, to enjoy the high and the low.

Speaking of high and low, one of the most memorable memory I have with him was that one time he took me for a Sunday walk, it was a casual walk around our neighborhood and we have done it few times before. But that time it ended up differently, because as we stroll our way through the neighborhood, he find a path that lead to a hill that lies behind our residents, at first I hesitate to continue the walking session, because it could potentially turn into a hiking, and I was only wearing my flipflop and I definitely didn’t want to miss my sacred Sunday cartoon schedule.

Somehow he manage to encourage me to just go and hike that hill, even though I’m perfectly sure my little human body have reach its limit (I’m not quite sure if he bribe me with candy or cold beverage if I do what he say, because at that point of my life I will do crazy thing for those two things). So that’s how our Sunday walking turned into a hiking, and I terribly tired after that and abandoned my Sunday cartoon schedule altogether.

As I recall that story in my head today, I realize maybe that was mentoring is all about, to push a young soul through it limits and have faith in their ability, even thought they didn’t believe in themselves.

Sadly, I owe him a lot of gratitude and forgiveness, I never really say a proper thanks for the lessons that he have passed to me, whether it was a deliberate lessons or an unintended one. The worst thing is, I didn’t attend his funeral because at that time I’m too arrogant to even saying a proper goodbye to my mentor, maybe because the younger version of mine does not understand the importance of having a mentor, or how hard it is to find a good one.

I also want to ask him, did he mentored me deliberately or did he already understand that I could reach more things even though I didn’t have faith in myself or he just do his regular thing and I was just too amaze by that. But, now he’s gone, and I was left here wandering what is the answer for those questions and who else could answer that. And I wonder how many temporary mentor that I deserve, even though maybe when they take me as their apprentice I would blindly take it for granted, and only missing them deeply when they’re not here with me again, or maybe turned to hate me in the end.

The Lesson

He left me with one big lesson and question, that life are temporary, that our lifetime maybe is just as quick as a blink of an eye in the grand scheme of time.

I hope the next time I found a mentor, there will be no grudge to be hold, no unspoken apologies or unspoken gratitude, and hopefully next time I deserve a proper farewell.

You are important, you always were, for someone that you meet in your temporary life, and that particular someone will miss you deeply when you are gone. Because, whatever kind of life that you lived, for some young soul you are a superhero for them, pure and immortal. But the problem is we’re not immortal, we’ve been granted this temporary life and we have to struggle every single day to make the most out of it.

You are important, you always were.