I’m not disputing anything that you are saying about the inadequacy of the family court system, but…
Elle Beau
1

Who made these laws? Men did, because they hold the overwhelming power in government. Blaming women, particularly the litigants, for that is unfair and nonsensical.

Again, the family court system is a post-feminist framework. Read up on your history. The gender of family law judges is irrelevant. There are larger political systems at work. Judges are foot-soldiers. Go up a level and study the Generals (in Congress).

They are about blaming women for things that they have no actual control over. It may benefit them, but they had no part in creating the system.

Women have plenty of control over it. This is a perfect time to consider your concept of privilege. Women initiate the majority of divorces, overwhelmingly. They are complicit in these outcomes because they hold a false belief (which feminism supports) that single mothers with primary agency over their children is the best outcome. They benefit financially, socially, emotionally, from these outcomes. There’s no immediate reason for them to complain at the inflection point of divorce, and every reason to play along with the scam: They are given the keys to a loaded weapon, and the emotional motivations of a failed marriage to fuel their decision. Not all women, but based on a cursory statistical analysis, it seems most play along. It’s human nature. Does it follow that men don’t have the right to hold women responsible for these outcomes? Or do you feel that women only bear responsibility over inequality when it’s not in their favor? Again, look at your views on white privilege and get back to me.

I’m talking about a very narrow and discrete aspect of this topic, and you are continuing to ding me for not taking the whole big picture into account.

That’s the problem with the entire world, in a nutshell. Everyone’s focus is on the one narrow thing that irritates them, personally. Without looking at the big picture, we are all doomed to never get all the wrinkles out of the blanket. We’ll just keep moving them around, making up new forms of toxic language as we go along to serve our purpose. No-one’s even remotely interested in the truth, because everyone’s simultaneously at the mercy of a frame of deception, and participating in another one to try to balance their scales.

This piece is not about the inadequacy of the entire system; it’s about the lobbing of gendered grenades by men at women — something that you have earlier professed to be against.

You cannot expect to enlist men in alleviating your pain without acknowledging theirs. Everything I’ve read of your writing seems squarely all about gendered grenades. Our initial point of contact was over the word “mansplaining”.

You have not shown that the facts I’ve enumerated are erroneous — because you can’t, because they aren’t. I’ve already stipulated that they are not the entire picture, but I’ve also said this piece is not about the entire picture and all of it’s facets. It’s called Sexist Tropes for a reason. It’s about the tropes.

You have your own tropes. Calling the complaints of men tropes is a trope. If you’re telling me that you bear no responsibility to correlate your analysis of the “facts” to the larger map of the system, what you’re doing is of little value. Again, what I’ve outlined bears fairly hard against your opinion that our society is a patriarchy. The family law system stands in direct opposition to your thesis, as well as points out an intrinsic contradiction in the very premise. If it were a system designed by men to serve men, we wouldn’t have a nation of single mothers raising the next generations of children overwhelmingly alienated from their fathers. The complexity goes far beyond even this inflection point — I’ll stop there because I want you to see the flimsiness of your own frame. You won’t, but I don’t have all day to do someone else’s homework.

There is absolutely no place in this article where I have attacked men. Unless you can demonstrate to me where I’ve actually blamed men for something, you are off the rails again — swept away by your emotional responses rather than anything grounded in logic or reason.

The headline of your article is “Men’s Sexist Tropes Dismantled”, and the subtext is “The patriarchy hurts everybody”. The very idea of the patriarchy attacks men, and mandates/determines that the unfairness of men is what causes the need for feminism. It reduces the complaints of men as “sexist”, in other words, unfair. The math of your language is dishonest. Surface appearances, that you have concern for both women and men by saying the system designed by men hurts them as well, but those words are the essence of a deceptive frame. Your goal is to perpetuate the dynamic by calling their complaints sexist. It’s literally chaos, 2+2=5.

I think you’ve suffered abuse at the hands of a man, who was acting out of his own brokenness. I think you suffer from brain damage caused by an ideology that makes you weak. My “mansplain”, (in your parlance) would be to heal from your abuse and educate yourself in a few other domains you’ve yet to consider, and find a new way to combine it all into a better operating system. Without a foundation in place for critical thinking and logic, divorced and independent from the biased and narrow conclusions of ideology, you’re nothing but a broken robot. And don’t fool yourself that you love men, or want equality for them. Your biggest mistake is in allowing your resentment against one man to become attached to a very dangerous weapon, against all men, against all humans. If you have any doubts about it, just look at the bigger picture. The results speak for themselves.