How Do You Get A Date With The Prom Queen?

Desmond Blackburn
Sep 2, 2018 · 3 min read

Why the power of “asking” is and will always be the key to opening every door.

So I’m on the phone with a client of mine and they ask for a added feature found on our product. It’s not terribly expensive but we do charge for it. I then proceed to tell him the price. He then replies “may we have it for free? he briefly makes his case, it sounds reasonable and then I agree. That’s when he shared the above riddle with me. “How Do You Get A Date With The Prom Queen? the answer: “You ask.

I’ve been in professional sales for over 25-years and that was by far the freshest perspective on the power of asking that I have ever heard.

In high school, most guys will recall how nervous they were at the very thought of asking a pretty girl out on a date. (Insert embarrassing story here) This anxiety was often compounded when that pretty girl was given the title of “Head Cheerleader or prom queen.

For most of us the pressure was way too much. What if she rejects me? what if my friends see me getting rejected. It’s not long before we cave into the 40 reasons why she would say no and awkwardly walk past her without uttering a word.

Years later I listened to a “super model” who was being interviewed on TV. The host made a comment that assumed that this model was always being asked out on dates. She replied and said that she spent most of her Saturday nights on the couch alone and that she is rarely asked out.

I was blown away but not surprised. In business and especially in sales we are constantly leaving money on the table by assuming that a person or company would never do business with us. In many cases we don’t even pick up the phone, walk in the door or extend a handshake because we are too busy listening to the Never Ending Story Of Doubt and Unbelief that we have going on in our head. “my product sucks, they already have a solution, we’re too expensive.” yadda yadda. Whatever the story, the affect is still the same, no action.

So how can we change? First of all, acknowledge that your brain or emotions will never“Feel” like making the first move. Keep in mind your lizard brain has one purpose and that’s to keep you alive. Your previous experience of running for the hills whenever a new prospect comes around has programmed your brain and emotions to interpret such events as danger. You need to reprogram it to respond differently and that can only happen by forcing it by creating new experiences.

Here are few tips: Join a networking group and get comfortable “working the room.” Sign up for a comedy improv or acting class. If you can get comfortable with being loud and silly then a cocktail party will be a “cake walk” for you. Lastly, take a self defense or karate class. Knowing that you can kick someone’s butt is very empowering.

Lastly, take about 5–10 minutes a day to rehearse your pitch in your head. See yourself doing it successfully and see the customer responding to you in a positive way. This is a great exercise because it can be done anywhere for free. So the next time you want the ask the Prom King or Prom Queen out on a date, turn down the self doubt, access your new found confidence and simply ask.

Desmond A. Blackburn is High Performance Sales Coach and author. If you would like to contact him go to www.layoffproof.com or email him at info@layoffproof.com