I promised myself that i will write daily once i got into college but yea- talk is cheap of course. I got so caught up with college and organization- Lol no im actually being a lazy ass and go straight to bed once i got home. I don’t even have time to practice my dutch and improve my English. Damn i made too many promise. Back then i was free as fuck, literally eat, sleep, repeat. but now that i am “kind of” busy, i keep making excuses not to write. But here i am now. Forcing myself to stay up late, writing about myself because i believe someday this will be necessary for my future ??? okay so first im gonna talk about how i finally got into college. With a scholarship. Lol. setiap kali inget itu selalu ada rasa ga percaya. Tahun lalu nangis nangis mimpi pengen kuliah, pengen dapet beasiswa. Dan barusan gue abis ngerjain tugas kuliah pertama gue which is politic. I didn’t enjoy doing it but im trynna be grateful. This is what I’ve been dreaming. This is what i want. The future I’ve chosen. So i have to be responsible.

Waktu itu sebenernya udah di setujuin untuk kuliah, tapi being the over protective granny she is, nenek gue ga bolehin gue kuliah jauh. Dan kampus di Tangerang ini tuh kalo ga bagus banget ya jelek banget. Yang bagus tentu mahal. Jadi pasti di pilihin yang jelek. Di suruh kuliah di kampus depan gang, ya sebut aja kampus U. pertimbangan kuliah gue itu selalu: 1) Akreditasi 2) Jurusan. Akreditasi tuh kampus aja masih ga jelas, jurusan pun Cuma dua. Dan ga ada yang gue minatin. So gue diem diem daftar ke kampus S di Jakarta tapi bilangnya ke kampus U itu. I know i know, bohongin orangtua itu ga baik. But i just cant let anyone ruin my future. I will be the one who design and take care of my future, so yeah. Long story short, udah bayar DP dan daftar ulang segala macem, gue baru inget gue juga daftar beasiswa di kampus L. Jujur itu iseng, gue ga berharap banyak karena berdasarkan hasil beasiswa tahun lalu itu penerima grade A nya sedikit banget. Jadi ya menjelang ujian gue belajarnya udah males malesan dan hampir ga ikut test nya gara gara ga ada kendaraan. Tapi Tuhan baik banget sama gue. Gue merasa sangat di permudah pada hari itu. Motor ada, jalan ga macet, dan soalnya lumayan gampang. Ga sia sia belajar 6 bulan. Dua hari kemudian hasilnya keluar. Gue inget banget gue tungguin itu website dari jam 12 malem padahal pengumuman jam 10 siang dan itu gue dapet dari grup line soalnya yang website telat di post n__n i just woke up that day, opened my phone, checked the announcement, and there i see my name with an A on the right side. I was screaming awkwardly, i remember it so well. Because i didn’t expect that. Really. I was so focus on that S university and actually kinda disappointed that i didn’t get to go there. It is such a prestige university T__T but yea, i need the scholarship. I am so fucking proud of myself. Know i know that i can easily get what i want if i put my mind to it and work hard to chase it. This will forever be my motivation and way of life

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