I’m Not Jealous. I’m Enlightened.

Jealousy is oftentimes misused, and I did not come to find this out until later in life, but let’s start with the traditional definition of jealousy.

​​​J.E.A.L.O.U.S.Y.

When I think of jealousy, I think of: sickness, poison, negativity, bad vibes, and pure evil (I say this last one because some people do some really shitty things to other people due to jealousy). How or why does jealousy even come about? Well, think about science; it’s human nature to compete for a mate, for land, for food, and for survival. Male animals compete with other males to obtain the best mating rights and to mate with females; male animals also compete against each other through bloody fights. Male animals also compare their bodies and status to each other (e.g. whose feathers are brighter and more distinctive? OR whose call, gawk, or animalistic sound is more creative or LOUDER?). Male lions vigilantly and consistently keep watch of their pride to prevent danger from other male lions who want to obtain overtake their pride (side note: if the outside male lion succeeds in overtaking the pride, he kills all the baby cubs so he can produce his own young –I can only imagine this is due to an enormous ego and the addictive habit of throwing salt in the wounds of the defeated).

The more I watch science and nature documentaries, the more I understand humanity. Most of our pointless and aversive habits are due to human nature; however, I do not condone our human nature tendencies nor do I believe we have a legitimate excuse for much of our irrational behavior such as: human nature.

So now we know what animals do to compete for resources, mating partners, food, and territory, but I want to let you know that: humans do the same damn petty things. Who has a better body, who has a bigger dick, who has bigger breasts, or a better ass (I think this is the more popular option now compared to boobs –not sure)? Who has a better house, who has the better car, who has the better relationship, who has the better title at their job, who has a better career or job period? These are just some of the things that we fight over. And we see this all the time (e.g. rappers who consistently rap about their competitive woes and beefs with other rappers). A lot of people talk shit about other people because they are intimidated, jealous, or threatened by what the person has or simply because of who the person is.

Competition is at the root of jealousy, and comparison coincides with competition. When we compare ourselves to others, we essentially are competing against them, which is where jealousy derives. Many of us don’t realize this, and we feed our jealousy with more negative energy. Whenever you are experiencing jealousy it is important to nip the feeling in the bud, or it will control your life and eat away at your spirit.

Sometimes we don’t even realize that we are jealous until someone mentions something about it to us..

E.N.L.I.G.H.T.E.N.M.E.N.T.​

​So, something I learned a while back is that jealousy doesn’t have to have a negative connotation. Often, if we take a step back and analyze the true nature and reason (aside from human nature) behind our jealousy, we can use it to our advantage. Jealousy can be a tool that we use for our enlightenment. Jealousy can be the fire that fuels us into a more positive and lucrative direction for our lives. Jealousy can help us analyze old wounds and habits that are in need of letting go of. Ultimately, the feeling of jealousy can help us grow into better balanced human beings and here’s why: Sometimes the people that we let conjure up those feelings of jealousy within us are showing us something that we are missing or need to change within our own lives. Take a moment to take that in…

Maybe the person you are jealous of is a co-worker who seems to constantly get promoted while you stay at the same professional status within your organization. Maybe it is time to look within yourself to see why you are not being promoted…What actions are you demonstrating that could be preventing you from reaching to your full potential at your current job? Figure this out and while you do, let go of the jealousy.

Maybe the person you are jealous of has a beautiful home, and maybe your place of residence sucks. Maybe it is time to make a new decision, and find a better place to live that you –personally — find beautiful; this could mean taking control of your finances by making healthier decisions that will positively benefit your financial situation.

Maybe the person you are jealous of has a perfect body, and you often experience feelings of hate or dislike towards your own body. Maybe it is time to start taking better care of your body by consistently eating right and engaging in exercise that will help chisel your body the way you want it to look (Side Note: If the person you are jealous of has a perfect body due to plastic surgery..ummm please don’t waste anymore of your time nor energy on them; it’s not even fair play anymore).

Maybe the person you are jealous of seems to have their romantic life altogether, and you are miserably single or struggling within your own romantic relationship. The first step is: Find happiness within your singleness or start focusing on the positive aspects of your current romantic relationship; implement positive changes into your relationship or singleness, and do the best you can do to help make your romantic relationship and/or the relationship you have with yourself the best it can be. If you are still experiencing a miserable romantic relationship after you do all of these things, then leave. Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, and some relationships are simply not healthy to stay in. Make a new decision, be happy, and be satisfied in the area of romantic relationships.

Maybe you are a person who is jealous of that one friend who seems to be more financially successful compared to you. First off, don’t compare yourself to your friends. Second off, what can you do right now to improve your financial status (e.g. stop going out so much, stop using credit cards, cease spending more than you earn, apply for and obtain a better paying job, handle your finances prudently, save more)?

Maybe your jealousy is that you can’t stand when people are happy and energetic all the time. This just means you personally need help. Jk. What this means is, you probably have some darkness, negativity, or depressive-like-symptoms within you. Are you unsatisfied, unhappy, or lethargic on a consistent basis? Do you feel that your life has purpose? Do you know what your life purpose is? Answer these questions honestly and navigate, within your heart, what you personally need to do next so you can live a more emotionally balanced and content lifestyle.

Maybe you feel jealous about a close someone who lives in different places and travels the world frequently. Do you feel that you have a lack of freedom regarding mobility within your life? Do you feel a lack of freedom within your life period? When is the last time you traveled? Do you want to continue living in the place you are living now; are you happy with it? If not, what is preventing you from moving (and don’t you dare name any illegitimate excuses)? Maybe it is time for you to live somewhere new. Maybe it is time for you to start setting aside money each month to travel. Maybe it is time for you to make a new decision when it comes to the geographical component of your life. Maybe it is time to find out ways to increase your freedom; maybe you need to let go of some old thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that are tying you down.

Remember, jealousy doesn’t have to have a negative connotation; often times, jealousy is just a sign that we need to make a new decision or look within ourselves so we can work out the personal issues we are experiencing. Jealousy often signifies that we need to grow and act. So grow and ACT…right now.

Learn More About Destiny S. Harris By Clicking: Here