A Fake Boyfriend?

Destinyrachel
7 min readFeb 10, 2021

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“Kiss me. Kiss me like you would if I was your girlfriend and we were both really horny.” Their mouths met, He slowly traced the outline of her lips with my tongue and one hand slipped inside her t-shirt while the other found its way inside her jeans to cup a buttock under her panties. The urgency in Melissa’s request had spurred him to actions only dreamed of before in his mind. Her arms locked around his neck and her own tongue probed deeper than he would have thought possible from such a small person inside his mouth. Melissa felt her own body responding. When had Francis learned to kiss like that? Her best friend who as far as she knew had never had a girlfriend or boyfriend, whose eyes looked where they should even under extreme provocation and… Her thoughts tailed off as she felt the evidence of which side he batted for.

Someone coughed. Neither Francis nor Melissa paid any attention. Said someone tapped both of them on their shoulders.

“Can we have our flautist back please?” It was Andy, percussionist in the band that was playing The Green Man that night. Their self deprecating name, “The uncool folk” belying the fact that they had been nominated in several categories for the Radio two folk awards.

“Come and see me at the break.” Melissa told him. Francis agreed while trying to work out how to make his hard on less obvious without it being equally obvious what he was doing. Melissa took up a position close to the stage feeling quietly satisfied with how that had gone. She had dumped her ex after discovering he was screwing someone else. Mark told her with a viciousness that made her really glad she had never let him get that far,

“Fuck off then. A dwarf like you will never get a boyfriend without putting out.” Seeing him at the gig with Angeline had added insult to injury. It had been good to see the self satisfied smirk disappear from his lips as she snogged her best friend. That snogging her best friend had evoked sensations in her that Mark never had was a bonus if an unexpected one.

As always, the band were amazing but Francis’s flute playing was a level beyond where it normally was and for the Green Man to have them playing three or four times a year was only possible because they still got paid the standard rate for the venue, the same as they had before anyone outside of the local area had heard of them. They also got nearly all locals as tickets were only sold at the bar rather than on line. Even with their ticketing policy, the increased takings more than covered the fee for the band even allowing for the bonus Jonathan and Maggie, the owners always gave them.

The interval and crush time at the bar came and Francis handed Melissa the extra pint he had ordered for the break before they kissed again. Rather than explaining, after taking a sip of the craft ale, Melissa asked,

“So tell me Mr. Never had a girlfriend, where did you learn to kiss like that and why did I only just find out?” Francis blushed and not just a little but Melissa swore she could have lit a cigarette from his skin, if she smoked that was. Knowing how persistent Melissa could be, after some token resistance he gave in rather than have her learn the answer from the only other person who knew.

“My twin sister, Toni suggested we should learn together. She said that when she got together with Nick it paid off.” Melissa formed an image in her mind of demure Toni, even more innocent than Francis was before Nick making out with her brother except she quickly replaced Toni with herself in the vision.

The two had always touched each other during conversation but now their touches lingered and they looked like a couple. On hearing the reason for Melissa’s enthusiastic greeting, Francis was more than willing to play the part and before the second set, they enjoyed another smouldering kiss.

One feature of the second set when they played at the Green Man had always been getting a member of the audience up on stage to sing a solo with the band. There had been some spectacular out of tune renditions as well as some brilliant performances over the three years they had been doing it but it was always in good spirits and the person chosen always got a generous round of applause even if they couldn’t tell the difference between a tenner and a tenor.

Andy rose from behind the large wooden drum where he had been sitting, his hands a blur with the complex rhythms he was playing,

“Lords, Ladles and Jelly Spoons!” There was laughter both from the regulars who had heard the line several times in the past as well as those to whom it was new. “And anything else that might have crawled in. Now is the time when we choose one of you to come up and sing a solo piece with the band playing. And tonight it is…” His eyes scanned the room, resting briefly on Mark and Angeline before moving on. Some shied away from his gaze and some looked eager but in the end his eyes settled on Melissa and he stepped down from the stage before taking her hand and helping her step up onto the stage. Knowing the song they planned , Francis swapped flutes to his bass one and gently played the melody to the one they had chosen.

Meanwhile, half way back in the crowd Mark told Angeline, “Let’s go. I came to listen to the band, not some slapper.” Angeline, quickly realising that Mark was nothing like the man she had thought he was told him,

“You are nothing but a low life. You will not be sharing my bed again and I want to listen to her.”

“You were a lousy screw anyway.” The slap he received rang out all the way to the stage drawing the attention of both Francis and Melissa who both realised that she was an innocent party in the evening’s drama. Francis asked one of the bar staff who was passing to invite her up to the seat vacated by Melissa.

Francis suspected he was going to get it in the neck from Melissa afterwards. What he wasn’t worried about however was her making a fool of herself. He had heard her sing the same piece at school and while her voice had matured and he hadn’t heard her sing for two years, he had little doubt she would go down a storm.

The water is wide, I cannot get o’er

And neither have I wings to fly.

O go and get me some little boat,

To carry o’er my true love and I.

A-down in the meadows the other day

A-gath’ring flow’rs both fine and gay

A-gath’ring flowers, both red and blue,

I little thought what love could do.

I put my hand into one soft bush,

Thinking the sweetest flow’r to find.

I prick’d my finger to the bone

And left the sweetest flow’r alone.

I lean’d my back up against some oak,

Thinking it was a trusty tree.

But first he bended then he broke,

So did my love prove false to me.

Where love is planted, O there it grows,

It buds and blossoms like some rose;

It has a sweet and pleasant smell,

No flow’r on earth can it excel.

Must I be bound, O and he go free!

Must I love one thing that does not love me!

Why should I act such a childish part,

And love a boy that will break my heart.

There is a ship sailing on the sea,

She’s loaded deep as deep can be,

But not so deep as in love I am;

I care not if I sink or swim.

O love is handsome and love is fine,

And love is charming when it is true;

As it grows older it groweth colder

And fades away like the morning dew.

Her rich voice backed only by a simple rhythmic drumming and the bass flute soared across the room, its timbre carrying a depth of emotion that spoke of personal experience rather than just being a song. The bass counterpoint was also rich in emotion as Francis poured out his own awakened feelings for Melissa into the music. Such was the power of the performance, many were openly crying when they finished.

There followed a roar of applause and stamping of feet. As it died down, Francis heard Andy say to Robby on the mixing desk,

“I hope you got that recorded OK.”

“Just listening to it now. What I have heard so far is acceptable.”

Andy laughed,

“If you had said it was so so, I would still be insisting you keep it. That was the best invite we have had by a mile.” He asked Francis for the name of the performer before addressing the crowd, “Thank you everyone for your appreciation for Melissa and her wonderful voice.” Melissa beckoned Francis to stand up and join her in taking a bow. She took the microphone and her voice rang out,

“I would just like to say a big thank you to my new boyfriend for accompanying me.” Switching the mike off she added, “You are my boyfriend aren’t you? Otherwise you have been groping me under false pretences.” Francis didn’t answer in words but pulled her into an embrace before kissing her. The whoops from the audience meant he didn’t hear Andy’s laughter. Andy did however have to cough loudly into the Microphone to get his attention to continue with the set. Melissa remained on stage following Andy’s invitation to join with them for the rest of the set. Afterwards, Melissa asked Francis,

“You are staying with me tonight I take it?”

“Absolutely. I have a bet with myself that I need to resolve.”

“Oh and what is that?”

“Whether your body is as beautiful as your voice.”

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