The Great Indian Toxic Masculinity Crisis
In the previous post in this series, we discussed the fundamental patriarchal element present in Indian society, and how it manifests and becomes an integral part of it, and the influence the media has on it. I briefly touched on toxic masculinity, or the dude/bro-culture, and how it contributes significantly to the negative feedback loop, and this post will mainly focus on that aspect with more focus on internalized misogyny in the next post.
The all-too-well-known sexist phrases such as, “Men don’t cry”, “Women are emotional”, and many more, have been propagated in our society over many years. Despite how most people behave in society, it is common and almost accepted for men to be stronger, have dominating personalities, and if you appear weak or emotional that automatically makes you viewed as ‘less’ of a man, if there is such a thing.
But identifying toxic masculinity can be much more challenging. There are times when the fight is quite obvious — two guys just looking for a fight, perhaps over a woman. Assaulting or berating some guy who doesn’t fit the traditional aggressive expectation. Toxic masculinity can also take subtler forms. Observing these aspects and their persistence in society requires more time and effort. There are behaviours in relationships where men feel they must assume traditional gender roles. The subtle aggression, fear of not being manly enough, normalizing violence and aggression, and hiding their emotions are some signs to be aware of.
Young girls have been beaten, sometimes even to death, by village elders in multiple cases in recent years and even longer. For what crime you may ask? For eloping with a man she loved. How did this culture develop? It’s not like someone woke up one morning thinking I’d beat my daughter to death because she disrespected me. No. Cultures like these are created through the normalization of smaller aspects of toxic masculinity. And people, especially MEN do not speak up. It makes matters worse. By not speaking up when you see these elements in the society, you are contributing to their emergence indirectly.
Moreover, this does not stop at sexism and patriarchy; casteism, racism, and religious prejudice are also involved. I think Rajeev Bhargava, a prolific political theorist at JNU, sums up the butterfly effect of this culture, in the context of India, beautifully.
Another key feature exhibited through images of social violence, and integral to a culture of masculinity, is the belief that ‘real men’ are directly responsible for sustaining a moral order. Its guardians, they must restore that order when it is disturbed. […] How else can [a girl’s] subjection within the social order be conserved?
Likewise, Dalits and cultural aliens (Muslims) must know their designated place in society. Any attempt to become equal must be put down. How dare a Dalit sport a moustache or dream of riding a horse? He must be shown his place. To men with such ideas of masculinity, the argument that they must not take law in their own hands falls on deaf ears […] because from their own perspective, the law must be broken if it breaches the more fundamental moral order.
A culture where men are forced to be aggressive, to remain a part of the society, leads them to become emotionally closed off and imbues the culture into the next generation. The natural extension of this would be maintenance of the social order, which for privileged caste members would equate to normalization of the caste system. There will be some who argue that this is too far-fetched, but studies, some very large-scale, have shown a very high correlation between patriarchal beliefs and casteist beliefs in India.
Even so, I realize this is no easy problem to solve. The film industry in the country of 1.3 billion people has normalized toxic masculinity so much that it is actually a pleasant surprise when a movie breaks the stereotypes and portrays a normal, nontoxic male character or a female character who truly stands up for herself. Even when it does, it’s usually one step forward, two steps back.
Taking part in a social change of this magnitude requires grassroots action. People often respond negatively to statements telling them NOT to behave a certain way. Trying to tell a typical dude not to act like Kabir Singh will not help. Rather, examples of healthy masculine traits need to be displayed, young boys should be taught that it’s okay to cry and express their emotions, and aggression should be discouraged. This is an uphill battle, but I believe it to be a crucial one in the war for social equality, and if it is won, it can lead to success in other battles.
