Just another mommy blog. Just another collection of food photos, coy shots of wedge heels outside cafe entrances. Tips on how to fix your flabby ass with saran wrap and olive oil; homemade diffusers to hide the fact that y’all don’t use deodorant. Advice and reminders that it’s all waiting for you in heaven if you can just muscle through this shitty physical life and ward off the fiery darts of Beelzebub. If you’re lucky, your tiny tots will fall in line with your Mormon, Christian, Catholic way of life and be saved from damnation because it would really suck to know Timmy (Braxton? Axel? Leaf?) was going to melt in hell instead of singing falsetto ballads for the Trinity because he lied and never repented. Little bastard. Apparently if you’re Muslim and your kid leaves the faith, you are actually fucked because your kid is a heathen and that’s your fault. At least crappy Judeo-Christian parents still get to go to heaven!
I might be coming off a bit harsh, but can you blame me? The overwhelming majority of the blogosphere, at least the domestic/mommy sector, is the shiny-sexy-Barbie-face-I-handmade-my-entire-house-praise-God white girl. Add a huge dose of pseudoscience and YOU ARE SET. Yes I’m a white girl, and I also like to make shit sometimes. I get my self righteous jollies when I feed my family something organic or just something of the plant world. But I really have no desire to put forth this tired image of a squeaky clean mommy who never gets frustrated and never thinks about dick.* I’m well aware of a certain website called something like “frightening matriarch” and even that gives off its own negative vibes. We don’t all actually think our children are evil, petite beasts who are here to destroy our lives every waking moment. I hate feeling that my place in the great, colostrum-soaked world of the cyber mommy is compromised by the fact that I’m an atheist. Sure, I read those LDS blogs because, well, they’re shiny and there are baked goods. No marketing immunity here. But…where are my people?
Non-religious, secular, whatever you want to say. I feel most comfortable saying atheist because it has enough of the scare factor to make people who can’t handle it either shrivel into a pile of salt** or feel sudden relief that they’re dealing with someone closer to their end of the spectrum. There are always problems with labels for this reason or that, but when you get to the core, atheism is just the belief that there is no deity. I don’t really want to go much further on that because it’s quite simple and beneficial to do your own research on these things! I’ve never felt as much peace as I have since detaching myself from religion. And this comes from someone who has quit two jobs due to a long relationship with recurring panic attacks.
So then! I hope I can be your relief, mama. The mama that feels left out of the church group cliques of the community, the secret unbeliever still in the church, or anyone else in-between. We’ll talk about whether freezing meals is worth it and if you really bothered to try cloth diapers. How to enhance your role as a homemaker or career woman to benefit yourself and your family. Down the primrose path we go.
*Like actual dick, not the dick that means “you don’t know dick” aka nothing. Or who never thinks about the V, because not every V needs a P. Some Vs like Vs and they’re damn good moms. Or maybe mom doesn’t have a V! Shut up, everyone is included!
**Old Testament reference!