It’s time to be brutally honest in order to save myself, from myself


“I know that new situations can be intimidating. You looking around and it’s all scary and different, but y’know… meeting them head-on, charging into ’em like a bull — that’s how we grow as people” — Rick Sanchez

We all know and love our favorite TV character from 2017… The man smartest man in the multiverse, Rick Sanchez… But why is it that we are so drawn to his character, what makes him so appealing to us and why does everybody else on the show tolerate him for so long… My personal opinion is that above all else, Rick is brutally honest with everything… He will tell you exactly what he thinks, without the need to spare feelings or sugar coat the depth of his experiences and whilst he may not be the best role model to look up to, this is something that I am choosing to adopt… Hear me out…

I have spent an awful amount of time, stuck in situations that are less than ideal because I never said what I have felt when it was appropriate to do so…

I give you an example, perhaps the one that brought me here to get my thoughts in order… I look at what used to classify as an alpha male, the kind of guy that exudes confidence and seems to have all of his shit, in a backpack, you know… Together… He comes across as someone who doesn’t care about what anybody else thinks… When he gets broken up with, he has a new woman within a week… When he is sad, he hits the town with his mates to grab a “pick me up”… And when he feels lonely, he has many people that he hangs out with to ensure that he is not physically alone…

You get the picture… Whilst I would never say that the way in which anybody chooses to live their lives is wrong, I have just found that the above mentioned mould of what a “real man” should be has never worked out for me, and I intend to do everything within my power to become the opposite. So I have decided to start with honesty…


I want to shout Wubba Lubba Dubb Dubb when I am in pain, except I will use language we can all understand

I want to be brutally honest with everyone in my life… Especially myself…

When I feel lonely, I want to feel it, honestly… When I feel sad, I want to dive right into it and swim in the shallow waters… When I get broken up with I want to pine, to long and eventually learn to let go… The reason being is because feeling what you feel is honest to yourself… To understand that a part of being happy is to experience the downsides of life…

I have always believed that women are attracted to certain traits within a man, they want the cowboy, the one that is able to protect and be brave, the one that is strong willed, confident and ready to face any challenge… And whilst a lot of this may be true to some extent, I also believed that in order to achieve and become that, to attain and hold all of those traits, we needed to not expose ourselves when we feel down… We need to suck it up and deal with it in our own time so as to not come across as weak or draining… However this is where I have been wrong…

Being honest with yourself and allowing those around you to experience your metaphysical space is one of the strongest and bravest things that you are able to do… If you are feeling depressed and bottle it up because of the fear that the person you want to tell your problems to will leave or find you less attractive as a human… You are hanging around with the wrong people and should probably allow them to walk away…

I can never imagine myself in a relationship where I was not able to break down into tears and be listened to… I can never imagine myself in a job where I dislike the work I am doing and not be able to express my opinion… And I can never imagine myself pretending to be something that I am not.


Here’s the secret… What they don’t teach you in school

You are still able to be confident, strong, happy and attractive even when you are telling someone exactly what you feel… It isn’t easy to open up, and you should be able to tell anybody why you are feeling hurt… The mark of the human race, unfortunately has a downside and that is that we are going to feel melancholy, we are going to want to cry, we are going to have to break ourselves down every now and again, and that is just something we need to deal with… So when I feel this, I am going to feel it, to express it as openly as possible to let those around me know honestly where I stand… This is the only way that I am able to let it out… To be free, I never want to hold myself back or break my spirits in hope that someone will notice… I am going to be honest to be heard, and most importantly, listen to others in an honest way…

I want to feel the pain of those I care for, and allow them to creep into my mind to experience pieces of what I am feeling… I want to not have to hide the reason for pills I take and be able to explain why I need them and what they help me to achieve… I don’t want to be a part of a fake society that doesn’t allow for me to be myself and if that means that I do not fit your mould, then your mould is just not for me… Unshaped, uncut, and unscripted honesty is the only way to ensure that you will be surrounded with those that truly love you and that you truly love… And at the end of the day that is all we are really trying to achieve…


Where do I start with all of this?

This is the hard part, choosing where to begin, and how to be honest to this degree… I guess I need to first be honest with myself, to stop telling myself that I am feeling something because of reasons that do not make sense… I need to look at my feelings, and instead of finding excuses as to why I feel this way, instead identify with the feelings and find the seeds in me that allowed them to grow in the first place… From there, I am going to start telling people my honest thoughts, instead of trying to save face or spare feelings… The masks are off and I am going to have to say exactly what I feel even if it makes me look like an idiot… I am going to to say sorry honestly when I make a mistake, and own up to the mistakes that I am making… I am going to stop hiding my darkest parts of myself and give up the idea that everybody needs to like me… I want to be free, to exude confidence in not only my mannerisms, but also my words… To live with conviction and purpose and to never again allow anybody who does not see my worth as a human being, obtain any more of my time

And most importantly, I am going to admit that I do not know how to dance, but I am going to do it anyway