Adventures in Beanwater
Aka, “Esspressin’ Myself”
So I recently finished reading Legends and Lattes for the third or fourth time. You might have seen the book floating around the last few years; it’s the one that bills itself as “A Novel of High Fantasy and Low Stakes”, and tells the story of a retired Orc adventurer who sets up shop to serve coffee in a cosmopolitan city straight out of World of Warcraft. It’s widely regarded as creating the “cozy fantasy” subgenre of literature, and has fast become one of my favorite comfort reads. Less talked about is just how much the book (and presumably its author) love coffee — just take a look at this description when Viv (the protagonist and proprietor) makes a cup for the first time with her new Gnomish Coffee Machine:
“Viv waited a bit too long to cut the switch, but she could tell immediately that she’d mostly done it correctly. The smell that rose from the mug was rich and warm and nutty…and perfect.
She brought it to her nose, closered her eyes and inhaled deeply.
‘Gods. Yes, that’s it.’
Needless to say, it’s difficult to get through the whole book without at least picturing oneself curled up into a plush armchair or booth, hands curled around a steaming mug of rich, bitter, nutty liquid goodness. No sooner had I returned my copy to its spot on the bookshelf than I immediately started searching around for an affordable and quality espresso machine. I quickly found this article a good place to start, and promptly tore through the reviews of various bougie-looking chrome coffee contraptions. While my heart was initially set on the Breville Bambino Plus, it’s $500 price tag gave me immediate pause. Given that it was one of the more affordable options (many noted espresso machines cost upwards of $1000), the initial search was starting to put a ‘tamper’ on my barista-curiousity. That is, until I reached the review for the De’Longhi Stilosa. While not as immediately eye-catching as the fancier Breville’s or other designer brand showpieces, it seemed to have all the functionality I personally needed to make quality espresso, cappuchinos, and lattes. Taking a look through the Amazon reviews, I uncovered a veritable essay detailing the potential this little $100 device had — a big thanks to Benjamin Burlinson for the detailed write-up.
TL;DR, the Stilosa is capable of making excellent espresso, just as good as the more expensive models, IF one is willing to put in the effort to do it right. Given that I was interested in actually learning how to pull quality espresso shots, I figured this was just what I wanted.
For those interested in buying: Please do note that the Stilosa does not come with a coffee grinder, nor a milk pitcher or other container for frothing milk — those are sold separately, and luckily, I already had both. If you’re curious about grinders, I use an oxo Electric Conical Burr Grinder, which is currently about $100 on Amazon.
Fast-forward a day or two (thanks Prime delivery), and I was eagerly unboxing a new coffee machine, when I realized I would need to do some reorganizing in our apartment kitchen to fit it in. Also, I had a helper.
Once I got the machine out of its box, I set to work making space for it on our countertop. This quickly spiralled into a full kitchen deep-clean, as I discovered just how much dust, food crumbs and other detritus can pile up under a microwave, toaster, and coffee grinder (spoiler alert: A LOT). As I toiled cleaning out remnants of meals past, brushing caked layers of old coffee grounds, and wiping down, well, everything, I dreamt of that perfect creamy pick-me-up of an espresso shot, perhaps sunk into a velvety foamed bit of milk. My colleague, meanwhile, had decided to take on a more managerial role, and supervised my efforts from the comfort of the kitchen rug.
After what seemed like ages, the Stilosa was all set up in its proper place, all acessories cleaned, and the mechanism flushed through twice (as per the manual). It was finally time to pull that shot.
After consulting the manual and cross-checking how-to’s via google, I set to work. Grinding 7 grams of my customary Kona coffee beans on a fine-to-medium consistency, I managed to “pack the puck” of the portafilter without losing too many grounds. Locking it into place with the handle, I flipped on the machine and, when the water was heated, pulled the shot. From the sound, the smell, and the rich dark color of the result, I felt immediately rewarded for my first efforts. The immediate impression was certainly strong, and I burnt my tongue a bit in my haste to taste it. But, exercising a bit of patience, I slowly sipped my way through the shot, and found it to be fairly drinkable. No doubt I have much to improve upon, but I was happy with my first try.
Next time, I’m looking forward to getting a handle on cappucinos and lattes, but in the meantime, Ciao ~
