Brisk on the way to Chase but I make it with rosy cheeks at the worst. Hello officer. Only two people in line, I notice that three out of five people working there look genuinely happy. Amanda greets me with more warmth than I’d expected. Can I help you sir? I think to myself, wow, she wants to help me, that’s very nice. Yes, I would just like to ask my balance if you would Miss, thank you kindly. I hand her my goods and she pulls it up. Would you like me to write it out sir? Orally will be fine, thank you. You have .34 cents. Thank you very much, I hope you don’t mind If I grab a cup of coffee on my way out? And that’s how you get coffee when you only have .34 cents if you want to be polite and not chased out of a Chase by a police officer who’s name was Steven. Good afternoon Steven, I tip my green Aloha hat to him and burn my mouth on the coffee. Better than luke warm.
Prepaid a week for the metro so down the rabbit hole it goes. Think I’ll go to the bookstore. The last one. Take the train to Pershing Square and get out and there’s Cops checking peoples Taps. Good afternoon Officer, prepaid, thank you kindly. Good luck with the law today. Guy at the bookstore takes my backpack and I fantasize about switching clothespins with someone and leaving with a different backpack… a different life. Also I wish the guy taking bags was that girl I saw here that one time but thats ok because words are goldmines so I start digging. Find myself in that back part with the un allocated assortment of random print, find a book of poems someone made with printer people and I read them, and they were so fucking good that they made my cry. I cried right there in the bookstore, moved to the depths by a strangers weave. A woman even inquired if I was all right. Better than ever Ma’m, thank you kindly.
After that I read Prince’s entire biography and felt suddenly and irrationally obliged to create a musical masterpiece the moment I arrived back home. I trotted along like a fool on my way to the train, almost got struck by a car but just got honked at instead. Still, the honk fucked me up. I was all adrenaline shook and when I went on the train I found a seat and checked out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Nam Myoho Renghe Kyo. Believe that will work. And it does. Two stops away from home. I notice that if you stand in the back of the train, and look out the window, the tunnel looks as though time is fading into a black hole as you propel through it. Star fox. The train driver announces over the loud speaker that the elevator is broken up at the next stop, and that’s when an earth quake hit. Not too extreme, but enough to make the lights go out and bring my adrenaline to an acceleration level of panic. I can feel my fingers closing in my hands and everything becoming very tight in my body and I am exhaling and inhaling at too fast a pace and I pass out.
Hollywood and Western. The announcer over the speaker. I’m on the train still. Seated. A man darts his eyes away from mine as I catch him staring at me. How long have I been on this train? Was the earthquake even real? Did I dream that? How much of my life am I just imagining scenarios versus actually living them. Is there even a difference? I decide to get off the train.