10 Legal Hacks to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket

There’s nothing more American than cruising down the open road with endless possibilities as your only destination. But sometimes the boys in blue come a’knocking and write you that ticket for “swerving in and out of lanes in a school zone.” What’s a driver to do? Luckily, I’ve got ten surefire ways to get out of a traffic ticket that are guaranteed to work. You can thank me later.

  1. Wear a pair of Groucho Glasses.
  2. Claim “some kind of Transformers shit” happened.
  3. Call yourself Dilbert Manscrum.
  4. Run. Run far away.
  5. After your name is called in court, stand up and shout “Well, looks like that man is nowhere to be found! You’re welcome, authorities!”
  6. Sneak the Bailiff a ten-spot to “go Sirhan Sirhan on the whole operation.”
  7. Be real Portugese.
  8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FnO3igOkOk
  9. Play a 25-minute Kraftwerk song on the courthouse jukebox and slow the process down.
  10. Suicide by Cop.

Good luck!