Recipe: Boozy Chocolate Milkshakes
Here’s a little fun treat to pass those craaaaaaazy Mondays by!
Ingredients:
- 4 Cups Milk (fat free)
- 3 Cups Chocolate Ice Cream
- 3 Tbsp Hersey’s Chocolate Syrup
- 10 oz. Captain Morgan Rum
- Blender
- Large Duffel Bag
- 1 Bus Ticket
- Paper and Pen
Directions:
- Lay out all of your ingredients on the table.
- Have a pre-shake drink, this is going to be a fun afternoon!
- Pour milk, ice cream, and chocolate syrup into blender.
- Pour ten oz. of Captain Morgan into the blender. Have an extra 2 oz. for yourself. Be wild!
- Blend on “Pulse” for five seconds. The bottle of Captain Morgan is still open. Take a swig.
- Your milkshakes are done! Pour half into a tall chilled mug and save the rest for someone else.
- Garnish with cherry or another 2 oz. of Captain Morgan.
- Finish off the rest, why let it go to waste!
- Remember today is your day to pick Alex up from school. Stand up. You’re fine, you’ll be back before they even hit ‘ya. You’re a champ. Tell yourself that. You are a champion. You got this.
- Drive to the school. No problemo.
- Say hi to Alex. He asks why your breath smells funny again. Tell him to mind his own business. Put on Fleetwood Mac and drive home.
- Pull into a crowded drive-way. Who is here?
- Go inside. You see Angela, your ex. Your parents, Don and Evelyn, are here. Your brother, Ross, flew in from Nashville.
- Grab yourself a beer from the fridge. Ross takes it away and asks you to sit down.
- An hour of yelling. An hour of tears. You resist, they plead. You deny, they look at the blender and the bottle.
- Break down until crumpled on the floor.
- Pack a single bag. Five shirts, five pairs of pants, five pairs of socks and underwear. Leave your watch at home.
- Write your letters. To your former best friend and ex-business partner, Lamar; to your old boss, Monica, and to your son, Alex, who will receive the letter at his high school graduation after not having contact with you for a decade. It won’t mean much then, but years later, as he rocks his newborn son to sleep in the den, he’ll get the letter from the New Balance shoebox in the closet and read it, a tear rolling down his cheek onto his newborn son — named after you — and it will all be clear.
- They give you a bus ticket. You’re going for six months. Say your goodbyes.
- A new beginning. Serves one.
