The Art Of Letting Go
What do you do when you realize a friendship has come to an end?
I like to think of myself as a good friend. I have my faults- I’m too aggressive, very opinionated, and I don’t like admitting when I’m wrong. But I am also loyal and supportive, I try to be kind, and when I know I’ve hurt someone I always apologize and strive to make amends.
I love my friends. I think they are some of the best people in the world. I am close to quite a few people in varying degrees- some know me so well they can predict my reactions and replies with frightening accuracy.
Then there was Him.
He was a good friend. Dependable. Charismatic. Quick to judge but equally quick to laugh at himself. He was funny and witty but there was a tinge of desperation in every interaction, almost as though he was trying to conceal some terrible yearning. But then again, hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
I met him last year through his girlfriend, one of my close friends. We hit it off immediately, feeling as though we’d known each other a lifetime ago. He dove into declarations of love and close friendship- all platonic of course, it was never like that. I brushed them off as jokes but maybe I should have questioned him. Maybe then it wouldn’t have led to this.
I spent a day crying.
Perhaps the way it started should have given me a clue to the way it would end. I have never been in a relationship. My friends are the closest I have ever come to that so maybe that’s why it hurt so much.
He said cruel, cruel things about me to my friends. There were comments on the way I dress, the way I look, and the way I act with him. I genuinely cared for him and there he was, saying terrible things about me. I had never experienced this before. I began to question my friendships with almost everyone. Did anyone else think the same way about me?
In the end, he wasn’t worth it. I reflected on myself and was mildly disgusted- am I really crying over a boy? That was enough to get me to disregard everything and leave him behind. With the help of some friends I spoke to him about everything. I heard everything he had to say to defend himself, which is to say that he placed most of the blame on me, and realized that he truly didn’t see that he was at fault here.
It was not my job to help him grow anymore.
We cut off all ties and went about our separate ways. I sincerely hope that he becomes a better person and that life treats him well. If anything, he showed me that with the occasional exception, I have some pretty great friends. In a way, this experience is a welcome one. I learnt to let go and not harbour negative feelings.
Sometimes all you can do is be the best friend you can be and let others decide whether you’re what they need in their lives.