how to be infinite
Disclaimer: Features the funniest math joke of the century. Viewer discretion is advised.
My freshly minted teenage sister once came to me with a pressing matter and the need for its immediate resolution. She seemed to have acquired a new but prolonged acquaintance whom she struggled to call a friend. “They are so different from me” she exclaimed, “How can a person who I have nothing in common with be my friend?”
I smiled and said, “But that’s the point of friendship, isn’t it? To meet and know people who are nothing like you, so that through them you can enter worlds you know nothing about.” To be your friend they have to be good to you and stand by you in times of need, but they don’t have to have the same profession or same hobbies or life goals as you. These common points do help ignite the conversation and provide a basis for your relationship initially, they are paths to meeting people you may potentially befriend but they do not determine your friendship nor do they sustain it.
A friendship is a connection between two people who want the best for one another, who support each other, celebrate their wins and mourn their losses even if they do not always understand them. A friend is a person who you can share your good and bad parts with without fear or judgement. A friend will remind you of your dreams when you forget, will push you to be your best when you relent and will make encountering obstacles easier by being a part of the experience itself or by living it vicariously through you, giving you an avenue to expose your vulnerabilities, insecurities and the unpleasant emotions we accumulate as a byproduct of the daily business of living.
As Ruskin Bond, undoubtedly one of my favorites', says in his book “Friends of My Youth” -
“There is no telling where friendships might be made and how. Little and almost seemingly insignificant incidents of life can lead us to the person in whom we may find a companion, a comrade. Unknowingly at times, friends are found and they help eliminate loneliness or become partners in crime in our personal missions.”
I have had and continue to have so many friends unlike me. We differ in terms of personal background, profession, ambition, ethnicity, lifestyle but are one in sentiment. As we grow up and try our utmost to not lose ourselves in the busyness of individual journeys and realization of our solitary dreams, a friend is one who takes a moment to listen and share a part of themselves which remains with us forever as the memory of a moment that seemed infinite.
The beauty of human interaction, particularly in friendship, amazes me. The way two people interact and share a bond is always unique to them. If we compare the relationship I have with friends made at school and at college, they differ significantly which is understandable as they had access to different versions of me — a young me and a slightly older but not wiser me.
However, when I compare friends made at school itself, those friendships differ too even though I remained the exact same in this scenario. I assumed this maybe because we became friends under asymmetric circumstances. One was a family friend I knew since the day I was born, one sat behind me in class, one took part in every inter-school debating competition alongside me, one I got to know on a school trip to another city.
Then I compared the relationship between my two closest friends from school and I. We became friends at the same time, under the same circumstances and were mostly spotted together. Had the same stories, shared the same memories. Still the relationship I have with each of them hardly resembles the other.
Conclusion: A friendship between two people can never be the same as the friendship between two other people, even if one of them is common and the origin or other attributes of said friendship remain unchanged.
That means each friendship is unique, so each friendship brings out a unique side of us. Thus, the number of friends you have would equal the number of unique sides you have to yourself.
When you stop making friends, you shun an opportunity to uncover parts of yourself you are unaware of.
And if you continue making friends, you continue to discover new aspects of your own being.
And if you have infinite friends, you have infinite sides to yourself. You are limitless. Now this may not be practically possible, but the closer we get to infinity, the more limitless we become.
Let our limit tend to infinity.
(This is what a math degree can do to you. I am literally laughing out loud)
Well, here’s to infinity :)
