How To Stop Complaining & Take Control Of Your Own Career
There’s always someone or something to blame for our shortcomings, isn’t there? But more often than not — we only have ourselves to blame. The reason we even have someone to blame is because we’ve given away control of unnecessarily.
I’m certainly guilty of this. I’ve blamed & deflected in an effort to feel better about myself. Haven’t you? If your answer is “no”, you need this article more than anyone else.
I’ve blamed others and deflected responsibility in an effort to feel better about myself.
In 2005 everything that could go wrong in my life had gone wrong. A family tragedy broke us. I was pulled out of highschool. Soon I was a highschool dropout & a night-shift janitor.
Blaming & Deflecting was no longer good enough
I had plenty of things to blame & deflect responsibility to. But this time around, things had gotten so bad that blame & deflection wouldn’t be enough to make me feel better. I needed to take responsibility of my own path.
And so I did. Fast forward another 6 years and I had earned a MSc Degree & Six Figure Job
We’ve blamed the education system for not preparing us well enough. We’ve blamed our bosses for not providing us with training & career growth. When we blame someone, it’s because we’ve granted them the responsibility for something.
But why have we given these people responsibility of something so important to our livelihood? Why are we relying on them?
There are several things that arebeyond our control — but our personal growth is not one of them. Information has never been available this readily. And it’s never been easier to connect with people around the world.
All we need to do is educate ourselves!
The Education Continuum
Dr. Stephen Covey details the Maturity Continuum in his book — The 7 Habits Of Effective People. In it he discusses how the effective people move up the maturity continuum from a state of dependence to a state of interdependence.
I’m going to borrow from Stephen Covey’s maturity continuum and apply it to our education: The Education Continuum.
I believe we sequentially go through three states of education
Some of us never proceed past the first state, while some of us cling strongly to the second state not realizing that there’s a third (and more effective) state. In this post I’ll go over the three states: Dependence, Independence & Interdependence
Educational Dependence
Everyone begins their education journey in a state of “dependence”. In this stage we rely on someone else to facilitate our education. Whether we’re learning to speak our first words at home or write our first letters at kindergarten — we depend on someone else to show us the way.
This dependence on our instructors stretches well into the later stages of schooling.
During our time at highschool, college & university years we attain a semblance of independence.
We get to choose — to some extent — our discipline of study and courses. Yet, we are largely still dependent. We depend on the syllabus, structure & outline of the material, and the competence of our instructors.
We finally graduate and many of us feel a sense of “freedom”. Some of us get jobs and some of us don’t. But either way, the freedom is a lie and deep down we can feel it. Unsatisfied with the fruits of the effort — we place blame upon those whom we depended on.
Those who don’t find jobs:
“You didn’t prepare me”
“You taught me outdated material”
“You put be in debt”
“It’s because of you that I didn’t get a job”Those who did find jobs :
“You didn’t train me”
“You didn’t guide my career”
“You made me obsolete in the workforce”
The fact that we can so easily blame someone else, implies that we too easily depended on someone else.
Educational Independence
In this stage we break free of the shackles of dependence. We stop placing blame. We realize that we alone are culpable for our education.
Mark Twain: “I never let my schooling interfere with my education”
“I need to take responsibility for my education — not my teachers”
“I am responsible for my career growth — not my manager”
“I will choose my career path — not my boss”
“I am responsible for putting food on my family’s plate — not the corporation I work for”
In 2016 I was supposed to do my MBA. But I decided against it. I wanted to take control of my own education and not rely on an outdated academic system. So I started SkipMBA.com to document my journey in a Self-MBA.
In this state we seize control of our education and steer our growth in the direction we choose. We don’t rely on schools or corporations to teach us what we need to learn. We seek out information and arm ourselves with the knowledge we believe we need.
Therein lies the primary distinction between dependence and independence when pertaining to education. In the state of dependence, we are armed with knowledge that someone else believes we need.
In the state of independence, we arm ourselves with the knowledge we believe we need. But past the state of independence is a final state. A state that transcends us to Masters of our education.
Educational Interdependence
You arrive at the final state when you educate yourself interdependently. You don’t depend on anyone, but you’re not working purely independently either.
You dictate your own educational path — but you do so alongside peers with similar interests.
You form “Mastermind Groups” to brainstorm and share ideas. You critique and help each other grow. By taking control of your own path but still working with fellow peers, you push yourself past to levels you thought not possible..
The whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts
Interdependence is often confused with dependence. Instead of embracing it, we run away from it. This innocent misunderstanding leads to selfish actions.
Those who are fiercely independent are particularly vulnerable to this ailment. We see examples of them often at school & work. They hold so strongly to notions of independence that they alienate themselves — not helping those around them grow. And in the process — they stunt their own growth as well.
Interdependence is the final stage of your education maturity continuum. Mastering this state will allow you to transcend yourself to levels you didn’t think were possible.
Call To Action:
I have long-past attained my state of educational independence. Now seek to fully immerse myself in a state of interdependence. So I ask you to join me at SkipMBA.com so that we can learn from each other!
I started SkipMBA.com in a state of educational independence. But the community has grown, and I’ve learned more from conversing with you guys than I would have learned alone!
If you enjoyed this post, please ❤ and follow! :)
About the Author: Shawn Dexter is an Entrepreneur, Product Manager, and former Software Developer. After completing his MSc in Computer Science and accumulating years of work experience, Shawn was ready to pursue his MBA in a top business school. But after extensive research Shawn decided to self-study an MBA. You can join Shawn on his journey to a self-directed MBA at http://SkipMBA.com
